Greatest Music Video of All Time!!!

If you can stomach listening to this song, you'll love the video. I'm not sure what these guys are smoking, but I want some... Also, notice the guy in the background. Chillin' like there's nothing going on... Fantastic... Just click on the sign, sit back, and enjoy...

Mad props to Nurse Gerth for alerting me to this little gem.

My Own Action figure

They have finally recognized the hard work and dedication that is personified in the Male Nurse. If only he had red hair!
Just click the pic to go check this out!!!

A Letter to Dr. Laura

This is another great find from my friend Tim Kozitza (pictured above)... He should really get his own Blog...

An open letter to Dr. Laura

J. Kent Ashcraft May 2000
Dear Dr. Laura, Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and I try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can.
When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind him that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate.
I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the specific laws and how to best follow them.
a) When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord (Lev 1:9). The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?
b) I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?
c) I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness (Lev 15:19-24). The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.
d) Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?
e) I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?
f) A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an Abomination (Lev 11:10), it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this?
g) Lev 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?
h) Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev 19:27. How should they die?
i) I know from Lev 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?
j) My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? (Lev 24:10-16) Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)
I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging. Your devoted disciple and adoring fan.


I hope that Dr. Laura actually recieved and read this letter. I doubt she would have gotten the humor in it though...
In defense of Christians everywhere, the Bible verses referenced for this letter are all Old Testament Chapters. Christ said that he had come to rewrite the laws. So, in order to know what god really thinks, you have to reference the New Testament... Apparently he still really hates homos, though. Jerry Fallwell told me.

That's Just Pat!

That nut-job Pat Robertson is at it again! After such gems as calling for the assassination of Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez and making the statement that femenism encourages women to "kill children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism, and become lesbians {SWEEEEEET!}", God's right hand man has made another brilliant statement for Christians everywhere to hang their hats on.
On his show, 700 Club, Pat Robertson told the citizens of Dover, PA that they may have a natural disaster in their town soon because they voted to keep the brilliant idea of "intelligent design" out of their school rooms, citing such silly constitutional ideas like separation of church and state.
Here is an article with his quotes:

VIRGINIA BEACH, Va. - Religious broadcaster Pat Robertson warned residents of a rural Pennsylvania town Thursday that disaster may strike there because they "voted God out of your city" by ousting school board members who favored teaching intelligent design.
All eight Dover, Pa., school board members up for re-election were defeated Tuesday after trying to introduce "intelligent design" — the belief that the universe is so complex that it must have been created by a higher power — as an alternative to the theory of evolution.
"I'd like to say to the good citizens of Dover: If there is a disaster in your area, don't turn to God. You just rejected him from your city," Robertson said on the Christian Broadcasting Network's "700 Club."
Eight families had sued the district, claiming the policy violates the constitutional separation of church and state. The federal trial concluded days before Tuesday's election, but no ruling has been issued.
Later Thursday, Robertson issued a statement saying he was simply trying to point out that "our spiritual actions have consequences."
"God is tolerant and loving, but we can't keep sticking our finger in his eye forever," Robertson said. "If they have future problems in Dover, I recommend they call on Charles Darwin. Maybe he can help them."


I must say that I do certainly appreciate the smart-assedness required to come up with the line "...call on Charles Darwin." But otherwise, I just think the guy is a dick. Apparently, Patty didn't read the New Testament where God changed gears from the vengeful god who rained fire and shit all over folks who weren't being nice, to the god of forgiveness and love that was personified in Christ. I guess he should read more.
Again, I am not against the idea of teaching "Intelligent Design" in schools. But, as I said before it belongs in a "World Religions" class that would expose kids to many different religions, and it CERTAINLY does not belong in a science class.
Feel free to click the link to the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster for more on the debate over "Intelligent Design".

(Special thanks to Tim Kozitza for alerting me to this little nugget of anti religious right gold.)

Hasselhoff

Sometimes when I get bored at work I'll hop online and google random stuff. One night I googled Knight Rider and I came across this pic. Notice where the little fella's eyes are looking. Just further proof for my theory that midgets love Hasselhoff.

Bonus Star Wars Footage.

My friend Ryan sent me this deleted footage from Star Wars. Very good stuff. It's amazing the swordplay that they choreograph for this movie. Enjoy!!!
Jedi Training

Is This Man the Anti-Christ?

This is televangelist Benny Hinn. This man is the closest thing that I have found to proof of the existence of a god. Not because his ministry has touched my life and made me want to become a Christian. Quite the contrary... I believe that this man is pure evil. Possibly the devil, or at least the Anti-Christ. The existence of such evil deities may be proof of the existence of the good guy god.
You may have seen Benny Hinn on TV. Televangelists are pretty much all despicable human beings. Benny Hinn is the king of them all. His antics go beyond the usual bible banging, gay bashing, money extorting that folks like Pat Robertson, Jerry Fallwell, or Robert Tilton dish out. This guy takes televangelism to a level of theatrics that, were it not so sad, would be hilarious.
Benny Hinn is a "Faith Healer" who travels all over the world "healing" folks from large metropolitan areas all the way down to poor villages in third world countries. He will pray over these people and then "slay them in the spirit" with a wave of his hand. This is when the people are rendered immobile by the holy spirit and collapse to the ground in what looks a bit like a seizure. He will sometimes wipe out a whole section of people with just a wave of his arm. Often, he'll shout "BAM!!!" ala Emeril. (Just FYI: There is no biblical precedent for such an act. The Holy Spirit shows up in the bible as tongues of flame that positioned themselves over christians heads. They were never stricken down.)
He then interviews them and they always talk about how they are healed by the power of God through his messenger, Benny Hinn. He also tells those watching at home that they can receive god's healing by placing their hands on the TV screen and praying with him. Guy's so good, he can perform miracles through coaxial cable. Then, of course, he let's them know that they should send money so he can continue to do god's work. If you've seen the movie "Leap of Faith", you've seen a pretty good representation of Benny Hinn. Steve Martin should have won some kind of award for that... I digress...
Anyway, there are so many stories about what this guy does, that I would have to write a novel. I don't have that kind of time so I'm going to post a couple of my favorite Benny Hinn stories, and then post some links so you can check him out yourself.

This is one of my favorite stories from the "Typical Televangelist Bullshit" category. Benny Hinn told his followers and viewers that god had given him a plan for a "Faith Healing Center". This center was going to be a place where the common christian could come and visit with a real live faith healer. I can only assume this visit would come with a hefty fee. God had shown him a beautiful location where christians with sickness could come and be healed by their favorite healers, who would visit the location and I guess take up temporary residence there to do their "healing". Mr. Hinn told his followers that he needed money to do gods work and open this joint up. So, his faithful followers sent in like $25,000,000 in contributions for this Faith Healing Center. This was quite some time ago, and no such center exists. In fact, they never even started planning construction. Mr. Hinn says that god changed his plans. Because god does that a lot. I'm sure the good folks who provided him millions of dollars didn't receive a refund... Good thing is, they can still lay hands on their TV's for healing.
HBO did an expose' on televangelists a couple of years ago, and one of those focused on was Benny Hinn. Benny was, at that time, claiming that he was responsible for something like 64 "miracle" healings. However when asked for evidence of such healings, his people were not willing to or able to produce any evidence. The folks over at HBO apparently have a research department, though, and were able to track down a few of those who were supposedly healed my Mr. Hinn. None of them had been actually healed. One of them Benny "healed" from terminal cancer (of the lung, I think). He then told the man, in front of an audience of thousands that God told him that he was going to live a long and happy life. Two weeks later the man died of complications related to his cancer.
But, this was not the most disturbing story from the HBO expose'. They followed another family from some poor village in a third world country. Anyway, this family had a son that was going to die from some horrible disease or another and wanted to go see Benny Hinn after they had exhausted all medical resources. In order to get to him, they had to scrape up every penny that they could. This involved hitting up their extended family, who were all very poor, and selling all of their possessions including their home. They used the money to get a ticket to a Benny Hinn ministry somewhere in their country. They used what they had left to make a contribution to Pastor Hinn's church. They got up to the stage and Benny prayed over them, with much enthusiasm. He then told the father, tears streaming down his cheeks while he held his VERY sick son in his arms, that god had acted through him and the child was healed and would live a long life. You can imagine the joy this family felt, believing that they were dealing with a man of god. I can't imagine the misery that they experienced a couple of months later when their son died.
HBO interviewed this family after their son passed. They asked them how they felt about their experience with Benny Hinn. The father was clearly pissed, as you might have guessed. But, his anger was not focused in the direction you might have expected. I am going to paraphrase what he said here, "Benny Hinn is a good man. We are not angry with him. He tried his best to help us. I don't know why god would let our son die. I feel angry with god."
People are going through this every day. This man makes MILLIONS of dollars with promises of healing. Now, all televangelists engage in this type of extortion. But most of them promise eternal life in heaven, or a better life on Earth. But this guy promises miracles! I even found a transcript where he talks about bringing the dead back to life. No kidding, he says that if you put a dead person in front of the TV and touch their hand to the screen, they will be brought back to life. He flies around the world in his own private jet and takes money from the sick and the old and the desperate. This falls under the heading of "There Oughta Be a Law".



Here are some links to sites that have some good Benny Hinn stories and info. Take a look at these, there is some really good stuff here:
Benny Hinn Info
Deception in the Church
False Prophet Alert (This one is great. It even has clips.)
Benny Hinn, Necromancer
A Bunch of Benny Hinn Story Links
Google search for Benny Hinn (Scroll through and see for yourself.)

It is interesting to note that most of these links are posted by christian organizations. Kudos to those who are smart enough to smell a rat amongst their own leaders.

I find Benny Hinn appalling, reprehensible, and downright disgusting. If I were a Christian, I would be horrified that this man was trying to associate himself with me or my god. But on a strictly human level, I am horrified that this man is allowed to get away with what he does. There truly should be a law against this type of activity. Actually, I believe there a law against fraud. Whether you believe in god or not, with very little research you can clearly see that this man has not created one TRUE miracle. In fact, his "ministry" has probably dissuaded sick people from seeking the medical help that they needed. You can blame this on their own stupidity, but taking advantage of the stupid is not acceptable. Especially from a self proclaimed man of god.
The biggest reason that this man is so noxious to me is that I have a family member who watches and believes in this man. She's been putting her hands on the TV screen, as instructed by Hinn, hoping that her many ailments will be healed. I wouldn't be surprised to find out that she has made contributions to his "ministry". It is sickening to me that this man has been able to influence the life of one of my loved ones. Benny Hinn makes me hope that there is a hell for him to rot in.