Noxious Stimulation

Lions, and Gators, and Waterbuffalo... Oh, my!

2007-09-29T03:29:00.000-07:00

This is a long video, and may seem sad. But, trust me... Watch it all the way through. You will find a new respect for the mighty waterbuffalo! Thanks to fat boy Hazen for sending me this one.

For my medical homies...

2007-06-21T22:46:00.000-07:00

Some funny shit if you've taken an EKG course before.

One for Rebecca

2007-04-18T22:32:00.000-07:00

My alter ego, Louis CK doing a bit about kids asking questions. I can't wait until Griff starts doing this!

Nine Inch Frog

2007-04-13T18:28:00.000-07:00

Kermit the frog doing a NIN cover. I don't know if this is funny or really, really sick.

No... It's really, really sick.
Gracias, Eduardo.

Cartman does Asia.

2007-03-03T00:42:00.000-08:00

Cartman addressing congress in support of stem cell research. I can't think of a better argument than this.
South Park - Heat of the Moment

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Perfect Dating

2007-02-22T12:13:00.000-08:00

This is some funny shit!

Bob Ross

2007-01-19T21:14:00.000-08:00

God help me, I love Bob Ross. Listening to this man is like having a nice little massage for your brain. Enjoy.

Web Building is for Sucka's...

2007-01-14T01:12:00.000-08:00

Funny stuff. Watch the whole thing. Trust me... It's worth it...

Thanks to my girl, C-note for tracking this one down!

R.I.P. Uncle Pete

2007-01-02T16:35:00.000-08:00

Pete Panouses (July 9, 1929 - December 29, 2006)

Funeral services for Pete Panouses, 77, of East Moline, IL, will be 10:30 AM Tuesday at Assumption Greek Orthodox Church, East Moline, IL. Burial will be in Moline Riverside Cemetery, Moline, IL. Visitation will be 4-7 PM Monday at the Van Hoe Funeral Home Ltd., East Moline, IL, where a Trisagion (Prayer)Service will be held at 7:00PM. Mr. Panouses died Friday, December, 29, 2006 at Trinity Medical Center, West Campus, Rock Island, IL. In lieu of flowers, memorials may be made to Assumption Greek Orthodox Church. Pete Panouses was born July 9, 1929 in East Moline, IL, the son of Christ and Dafne (Gust) Panouses. He married Katherine Karafotis September 19, 1954 in Rockford, IL. He worked for the former Iowa-Illinois Gas & Electric for 20 years. Over the years he had several local restaurants and for the last 20 years owned and operated. Uncle Pete’s Restaurant, Moline, IL. His favorite pastime was sitting in the restaurant talking to everyone. He was an avid Chicago Bear Fan. Survivors include: his wife Kathy Panouses of East Moline; sons and daughter-in-law, William “Bill” and Helena Panouses of Tierra Verde, FL, Chris Panouses of East Moline; brother and sister-in-law, Tom and Betty Panouses of Indialantic, FL; sister-in-law, Helen Panouses of East Moline, IL; brother-in-law, Chris Pikios of Machesny Park, IL; nieces and nephews. He is preceded in death by his: parents; his twin sister, Mary Pikios; brother, William “Bill” Panouses. Online condolences may be left for the family at www.vanhoe.com.

R.I.P. Godfather

2006-12-26T10:10:00.000-08:00

1933-2006

From Cyanide and Happiness

2006-12-17T00:03:00.000-08:00

For Ben "Jammin'" Carlson

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

More Jim Gaffigan

2006-12-14T13:58:00.000-08:00

This one's for Hazen... I couldn't find the bit about pancakes, but this was pretty good.

Jim Gaffigan = Funny

2006-12-12T04:30:00.000-08:00

I think this guy might be my real father... He's kind of chubby, pale, with thinning reddish hair... Sound familiar?
This is Jim Gaffigan's bit on Hot Pockets... Freakin' funny stuff...

This Time It's Star TREK Stuff...

2006-12-02T00:47:00.000-08:00

A funny clip for G4 channel Star Trek block... Pretty sure that's Charlie Murphy as Spock.

One For the Ladies...

2006-12-01T10:53:00.000-08:00

Short and sweet... Certainly no pun intended...

More Star Wars Stuff...

2006-11-21T05:11:00.000-08:00

This is a pretty funny spoof of Darth Vader...

Dane Cook is also still funny...

2006-11-17T23:43:00.000-08:00

OH, YEAH!!!!!!!!!!

Dave Chappelle Is Still Really Funny...

2006-11-04T07:27:00.000-08:00

This is one of my favorite Dave Chappelle bits. His delivery is perfect... Enjoy...
Dave Chappelle and food...

Kicking ass can be funny...

2006-09-26T11:54:00.000-07:00

This guy, Bas Rutten, likes to teach people how to kick ass... And he's good at it... Ba Da Bang, Bang, BANG!

Special thanks to my boy Zit for alerting me to this webnugget...

A Band Called OK Go...

2006-09-21T12:15:00.000-07:00

I stole the idea for this post from Jason's blog (AKA DJ Applesauce). But these guys are too good not to pass on. The choreography in the first video is unbelievable, and amazingly creative. The second video is almost as good... But a little funnier... You gotta check these out!!! Watch the vids all the way through... Hopefully, you have sound, too. These are actually decent songs!!!

Here It Goes Again

A Million Ways To Be Cruel

To check them out for yourself go to You Tube and type in OK Go in their search engine.

Weird Al is funny...

2006-09-21T09:37:00.000-07:00

White and Nerdy... Classic!

Japanese People can be funny, too...

2006-09-05T07:56:00.000-07:00

This is a Japanese gameshow clip sent to me by my sister in law. You don't need to understand what they're saying to know this is funny... Give the clip about 30 seconds, and you'll see what I mean...
Congrats to 8-Ball on the future wedding! This video will show you sort of how it feels being married!!!!

Some times Star Wars is funny...

2006-08-25T23:35:00.000-07:00

One of the funniest Star Wars parody clips ever!!!

Dave Chappelle is Funny

2006-08-18T02:06:00.000-07:00

So is Q-tip... And check out Snoop Dogg doing the voice of Dangle... By the way, this is not safe for work or around the kids!!!

Dane Cook is Funny

2006-08-13T23:11:00.000-07:00

Dane Cook on Catholicism... SuFi!!!!!

Eddie Izzard is Funny...

2006-08-11T08:28:00.000-07:00

I had a conversation with someone about this once... They didn't believe me when I told them that Kennedy had mispoken that famous quote... Well, Eddie Izzard is here to back me up!!!

Japanese Police and Lord Vader...

2006-07-29T02:46:00.000-07:00

More from John Stewart

2006-07-23T23:35:00.000-07:00

John Stewart and the Daily Show check in on stem cell research...

More Crazy Rap Music...

2006-06-29T04:00:00.000-07:00

Brought to you by my girl, Dangerous Delaney... She found this group, Leslie and the Ly's, while wandering around myspace. This is some funny, funny stuff... Yet, strangely catchy... Enjoy!!!!!

You can see more here, and here...

I Ain't 'Fraid Of No Fluff.

2006-06-27T13:38:00.000-07:00

This one's for 8-Ball.
Mass. Lawmaker Drops Opposition to Fluff
Tuesday, June 27th, 2006 at 10:13am

AP Photo/BILL SIKES

A Massachusetts lawmaker is trying to get himself out of a sticky situation by dropping his opposition to Marshmallow Fluff.

An amendment proposed by Sen. Jarrett Barrios to limit the availability of Fluff in schools sparked impassioned defense of the marshmallow spread, a lunch box staple of children for generations.

The proposal was panned on talk radio, and another lawmaker even suggested legislation to make the Fluffernutter _ a Fluff and peanut butter sandwich _ the official state sandwich.

Colin Durrant, spokesman for Barrios, D-Cambridge, said Barrios was abandoning the proposed amendment to the school nutrition bill. Barrios originally proposed the limitation after he learned his third-grade son was given a Fluffernutter as his school lunch.

"It got to the point where the larger story overshadowed or obscured his original goal, which was to have a discussion about what is a healthy and nutritious meal for kids in school," Durrant said Tuesday.

Goin' Down to Southpark...

2006-06-20T18:12:00.000-07:00

My buddy Zit sent me this link... It will take you to a page where you can watch any episode of the show Southpark. Sweet...
Goin' down to Southpark...
Enjoy!!!

Gnarls Barkley

2006-06-15T07:39:00.000-07:00

I know it's been a while since I last posted... But I've been busy, so bite me! Anyway, 8-Ball sent me this video, and now Gnarls Barkley might be my favorite band of all time!!! Check it out!!!!!

Steven Lynch

2006-05-26T08:24:00.000-07:00

This is comedian Steven Lynch. Check him out... It's a long clip, but the songs get progressively funnier, so keep watching.

Those Kooky Star Wars

2006-05-19T15:36:00.000-07:00

I'm not a HUGE fan of the show Robot Chicken... But, it certainly has its moments. Like this one:

May 17, 1975

2006-05-17T21:17:00.000-07:00

Came and went without incident. Another day older.

Update:

1) 8, I don't forget your birthday. Bitch.

2) So, saying that the day/night went by without incident was a little premature... Turns out, within a few hours of this post, I was in the Emergency room at the hospital where I work. I was having possibly the worst pain I have ever experienced in my left upper abdomen. Doc's couldn't figure out what was wrong with me. My guess is, I have an ulcer. Fucking old age... Bullshit...

True Story.

Blind Date

2006-05-16T02:55:00.000-07:00

Under NO circumstances should you play this video at work or around children. This clip is rated R by me. It contains adult content and adult language, (no nudity though... Alas...).
That said, this thing is freakin' funny!!! In a Blind Date parody, this fella gets hooked up for a date with... Well... You'll see.
It's kinda long, but it is worth it!!!
Thanks, Christy!

Mini Kiss

2006-05-01T16:24:00.000-07:00

This is a video of the band Mini Kiss. I don't think any further explaination is required.

UPDATE: I changed the video because it was a quicktime file and some people don't have that on their work computers. Hopefully, this video from ifilm will work better... Oh, yeah... That is a Motley Crue song that Mini Kiss is playing...

Britney Spears...

2006-05-01T13:37:00.000-07:00

This might be old new to some of you, but I had forgotten about it until last night.
There is this statue of Britney Spears giving birth to her son. I thought that everyone knew about it, but no one I worked with last night had seen this thing. At first, I thought that this statue was commissioned by Brit, but it turns out, some guy just decided to make it as an homage to child birth and the pro-life movement. Regardless, it's kind of disturbing... Here are some pics...

Stolen from Jason's Blog...

2006-04-26T18:11:00.000-07:00

But this was too ridiculous... I had to put it on here... God, I hate white people.

New Blog

2006-04-25T10:27:00.000-07:00

I have created a new blog at:
www.monkey-shines.blogspot.com
Monkey Shines is a spot for people to have conversations about religion and what-not. Which is the area where I have the greatest interest... This blog is going to be used for funny crap that I find on the net...
Hope to see you all in both spots...

Full House

2006-04-21T13:31:00.000-07:00

Anybody know if this pic is real???

I feel dirty... Well, dirtier than normal.

More From Scrap

2006-04-20T10:03:00.000-07:00

A comment posted by Scrap:
Gentlemen, let me throw out something that you rarely hear and that I had never thought about or heard until a couple months ago. So much is made of how scary/awful "extreme or radical religious beliefs" can be, but what about the danger of extreme or radical NON-religious thinking?You don't have to follow organized religion to believe in someone else's "dangerous" ideas. Remember Haley's Comet? The 80-90 fools that committed suicide a few years back because their leader said it would send them up to join this comet and they would live forever? Nothing to do with religion. The people in the 70s who followed Jim Jones into the jungles of Africa and drank kool-aid filled with cyanide and instantly died...not religious to my knowledge.But that's just small scale. What about Communism and Nazism? Neither of these had anything to do with religion (in fact, communists ban all forms of religion and we all know what Hitler thought of Jews...and though he at first put on the front that he might be some kind of christian, he later called Christianity the "mistake of the Jews"). Nazism is tagged with the deaths of roughly 5 million and historians tell us that communist regimes are responsible for multiple times that amount (Some historians say Stalin killed over 10 million of his own people and from other Eastern European countries. Let's not forget about Pol Pot or hundreds of thousands South Vietnamese slaughtered by the North Vietnamese when we pulled out).Therefore, I believe one should say "ALL extreme beliefs CAN be dangerous". As anyone, religious or not, can have extreme beliefs. And thoughts aren't that scary unless they're acted upon.

My response:
You talk about "non-religious" radicalism as if it's any different than religious radicalism. How is 80-90 "fools" committing suicide to hitch a ride on a comet that much different from thousands and thousands of them sending money to Pat Robertson or Benny Hinn to secure a mansion in the sky?
The danger is when you combine extreme, radical thinking with a lack of logic and understanding. Logic would dictate to most of us that committing suicide is not going to get us a lift to the mothership, or whatever. Understanding of Christianity would tell us NOT to send money to rich men pretending to be holy. Christ himself chastised men such as these, read the New Testament.
You can not logically show me a reason to believe in the message of Nazism, or the Klan, or communist extremists, or whatever. When one follows these ideas without forming their own thoughts and beliefs, they end up at the behest of maniacal leaders. That's where the danger is. Not in religion itself, but when religious leaders (or non-religious extremists), start to get too extreme and their followers don't even think to question it...

Insane.

2006-04-17T13:22:00.000-07:00

This is the most 'effed up story I've read in a while. From cnn.com...

Murder charges filed in cannibal case
'Fantasies getting weirder and weirder,' suspect wrote in blog

Kevin Ray Underwood is under a suicide watch in an Oklahoma City jail, charged with murder.

PURCELL, Oklahoma (CNN) -- Prosecutors filed first-degree murder charges Monday against a grocery store clerk accused of killing a 10-year-old neighbor in a bizarre scheme to consume human flesh.
Kevin Ray Underwood remained in a Oklahoma jail cell under a suicide watch. He is being arraigned Monday afternoon in the slaying of Jamie Rose Bolin.
Bolin's aunt, Linda Chiles, said Monday that she hopes Underwood is convicted and put to death.
"I feel sorry for his family. I feel sorry for our family," Chiles told reporters. "What he did is unspeakable. There's no way to take it back. There's no way to fix it. He didn't just break a glass; he broke a baby."
"I just hope he gets what he deserves. I hope they give him the death penalty," she said. "He doesn't deserve to stay any longer. She doesn't get to be here."
The girl's body was found late Friday in a plastic tub hidden in a bedroom closet in Underwood's apartment in Purcell, south of Oklahoma City, District Attorney Tim Kuykendall said.
A police affidavit says Underwood confessed to killing the girl. Underwood's blog allegedly revealed his bizarre intentions.
Underwood, 26, wrote, "If you were a cannibal, what would you wear to dinner?"
"My fantasies are getting weirder and weirder," he wrote in another entry. "Dangerously weird. If people knew the kinds of things I think about anymore, I'd probably be locked away." Purcell Police Chief David Tompkins said investigators think Underwood planned to eat the girl's corpse, according to an AP report.

Meat tenderizer found
Kuykendall, the prosecutor, said that meat tenderizer and barbecue skewers were found in Underwood's apartment, apparently intended to be used on the girl.
The girl's clothes had been removed, but the only outward sign of injury was deep marks to her neck from a decapitation attempt, Kuykendall said. Her clothing was in the tub in which her body was found, along with a towel to soak up blood.
Preliminary autopsy results indicate she was struck in the head several times with a wooden cutting board. Authorities believe Underwood then used his hand and duct tape to asphyxiate her, Kuykendall said.
Authorities do not believe the suspect had any previous victims. Underwood had no felony criminal history and no known mental illness.
However, police believe Jamie was selected simply because she walked past Underwood's apartment on Wednesday -- the last day she was seen alive.
Authorities think she was killed shortly afterward, before police were notified of her disappearance.
The girl "happened to be the one that was ultimately selected for this plan," although others had been targeted and considered, Tompkins said.

Children allegedly targeted
"Whoever walked by was going to be a victim," Tompkins said. "There were very likely other potential targets or victims -- it could have been either a boy or a girl, an adult or a child."
Authorities have information that a 5-year-old boy and an adult female were among other victims considered, he said, declining to elaborate.
"A child was chosen because a child would put up less of a fight," Kuykendall said.
He said he had discussed Underwood's alleged plan with Jamie's family.
"It's very hard to talk to a family about things like this," he said. "I kind of look at it in terms of, would I want to know what happened to my daughter, my child?"
Authorities suspect Underwood bought items such as a hacksaw, the barbecue skewers and meat tenderizer in months leading up to the crime, Kuykendall said. He described Underwood as being cooperative with investigators.
Underwood had worked at a grocery store for about a year and at a fast-food restaurant before then, Tompkins said. He had lived in the apartments about a year and a half.

'Guy next door'
"He was very quiet ... comes from a nice family" and had a close relationship with relatives, he said. "Nothing in his background that we know of would have indicated that he could have done this. He was the guy next door."
Underwood's mother spoke to the AP on Sunday. "This is something that I don't know where it came from," she said. "He was always a wonderful boy. I would like to be able to tell her family how sorry we are. I just feel so terrible."
A former co-worker described Underwood as "boring," according to the AP. "Trying to get a smile out of him took an act of Congress," said Bill Verdan, who worked with Underwood at a Carl's Jr. restaurant.
In his blog, Underwood talked about depression, the AP reported, asking God in one February entry "to make whatever is wrong in my brain go away, so that I can live like a normal person.
"That's all I want in life, is to be able to live like a normal person."
CNN's Ed Lavendera and Camille Feanny contributed to this report.
Copyright 2006 CNN. All rights reserved.This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed. Associated Press contributed to this report.

Goin' Down to Southpark...

2006-04-14T06:30:00.000-07:00

The TV show, Southpark has run a two part episode over the past couple of weeks. In this episode, the show Family Guy is supposed to be running a bit where Muhammad gives Peter a salmon helmet or something. In the show, the country is freaking out because it is against Islamic law to show any picture of their prophet. And, apparently, the folks over at Comedy Central censored a picture of Muhammad from being shown.
Upon further review, it turns out that several years ago, the folks at Southpark DID actually show a cartoon image of Muhammad in their "Super Best Friends" episode, (which was a very funny episode, by the way). Apparently, no one knew the rule at that time, and Muslims don't watch Southpark.
Anyway, what does all this mean? I don't know.
What I do know is this... In this weeks episode, three of my very favorite shows were all brought together. In the episode Cartman goes to the Family Guy Studio at Fox where he is trying to get the episode pulled from the air. While there he enlists the help of Bart Simpson, (who is never actually given a name in the episode. They just call him kid.) Which means, that in this episode of southpark, I got to see:
1) Southpark
2) Family Guy
3) The Simpsons
Guys, it just doesn't get any better than this.

Star Wars Stuff

2006-04-13T11:02:00.000-07:00

I loaned my Star Wars Trilogy (original 3) DVD's to my dad, and he's had them for a few months now. So, I've been needing a Star Wars fix. To get it, I started surfing the net... I found some great stuff. Here are a couple of my favorites. More to come.

This is a link to a couple of dorks having a VERY good lightsaber duel. At first I thought that they were a couple of high school kids with access to amazing special effects, but it turns out that one of them is a graphics engineer or something like that. Anyway, this is pretty impressive... Most impressive.

Here are some Broadcasting students from Gonzaga with too much free time on their hands. This is very funny... Use the Force!

Gotta Love John Stewart

2006-04-07T08:07:00.000-07:00

This is a great clip of John Stewart on the CNN show Crossfire. If you've got 13 minutes or so, watch it.

Scrap's conversation

2006-03-31T13:43:00.000-08:00

So, my friend J (AKA Scrap), sent me this article and asked for my thoughts on the subject... He may have bitten off more than he could chew. I don't know my response is what he was looking for, or if it even makes sense... I'm running on very little sleep and this response was a stream of consciousness type thing. So, it may be garbled nonsense to anyone but me...
However, I thought the subject was pertinent and I wanted to see if anyone else who is smarter than me had a thought about it... So here's the article, and my response...

The Islamic threat is greater than German and Soviet threats were
By Dennis Prager
Mar 28, 2006
Only four types of individuals can deny the threat to civilization posed by the violence-supporting segment of Islam: the willfully naive, America-haters, Jew-haters and those afraid to confront evil.
Anyone else sees the contemporary reality -- the genocidal Islamic regime in Sudan; the widespread Muslim theological and emotional support for the killing of a Muslim who converts to another religion; the absence of freedom in Muslim-majority countries; the widespread support for Palestinians who randomly murder Israelis; the primitive state in which women are kept in many Muslim countries; the celebration of death; the "honor killings" of daughters; and so much else that is terrible in significant parts of the Muslim world -- knows that civilized humanity has a new evil to fight.
Just as previous generations had to fight Nazism, communism and fascism, our generation has to confront militant Islam.
And whereas there were unique aspects to those evils, there are two unique aspects to the evil emanating from the Islamic world that render this latest threat to humanity particularly difficult to overcome.
One is the number of people who believe in it. This is a new phenomenon among organized evils. Far fewer people believed in Nazism or in communism than believe in Islam generally or in authoritarian Islam specifically. There are one billion Muslims in the world. If just 10 percent believe in the Islam of Hamas, the Taliban, the Sudanese regime, Saudi Arabia, Wahhabism, bin Ladin, Islamic Jihad, the Finley Park Mosque in London or Hizbollah -- and it is inconceivable that only one of 10 Muslims supports any of these groups' ideologies -- that means a true believing enemy of at least 100 million people. Outside of Germany, how many people believed in Nazism? Outside of Japan, who believed in Japanese imperialism and militarism? And outside of universities, the arts world or Hollywood, how many people believed in Soviet-style totalitarianism?
A far larger number of people believe in Islamic authoritarianism than ever believed in Marxism. Virtually no one living in Marxist countries believed in Marxism or communism. Likewise, far fewer people believed in Nazism, an ideology confined largely to one country for less than one generation. This is one enormous difference between the radical Islamic threat to our civilization and the two previous ones.
But there is yet a second difference that is at least as significant and at least as frightening: Nazis and Communists wanted to live and feared death; Islamic authoritarians love death and loathe life.
That is why MAD (Mutually Assured Destruction) worked with the Soviet Union. Communist leaders love life -- they loved their money, their power, their dachas, their mistresses, their fine wines -- and were hardly prepared to give all that up for Marx. But Iran's current leaders celebrate dying, and MAD may not work, because from our perspective, they are indeed mad. MAD only works with the sane.
There is much less you can do against people who value dying more than living.
The existence of an unprecedentedly large number of people wishing to destroy decent civilization as we know it -- and who celebrate their own deaths -- poses a threat the likes of which no civilization in history has had to confront.
The evils committed by Nazism and Communism were, of course, greater than those committed by radical Islam. There has been no Muslim Gulag and no Muslim Auschwitz.
But the threat is far more serious.
Dennis Prager is a radio talk show host, author, and contributing columnist for Townhall.com.
Copyright © 2006 Creators Syndicate, Inc.

My response:

OK... Here are my thoughts...

I agree 100% that militant Islam is a scary and potentially dangerous religion. I think that any religious fanaticism is scary and potentially dangerous... However, snake handlers are only dangerous to themselves.
Anyway, I don't know if it is valid to assume that there are 100 million people who are as extreme with their beliefs as those in Hamas or the Taliban. If there were, the world would be in far more dangerous turmoil than it is now. However, with the US and their dwindling list of alliess flexing and posturing the way they have, it is highly possible that more people will become fanatical about their beliefs. Push people into a corner by threatening their religious beliefs and their way of life, and you are just begging for trouble.
The place where many of our leaders go wrong (IMO), is in thinking that these people will see the American way of life, the freedoms that we have, and will want to be part of that. Like they want to be liberated from their religion and (in our view) it's oppressive rules. That's because most of us don't understand what it means to truly believe in anything. So many of us call ourselves religious, or spiritual, or whatever, but we don't live by the rules that are established in the scriptures that are supposed to be our holy law. (This is using the assumption that most Americans in this argument subscribe to some form of Christianity). To many Americans, religion is a Christmas and Easter event. At most, it's something we do socially on Sunday mornings. But, if you read the Bible you'll see that VERY few people who call themselves Christian truly follow the basic tenets of Christianity. Sure, it's easy to follow MOST of the ten commandments. But Christ was firm in his depiction of the way of life the true believer needed to adhere to in order to make it to heaven. Read the new testament. He lays down the law. Most of America's "religious" citizens live no where near those laws. How important is the pursuit of God in most of our every day lives? According to Christ, it should be #1. But we pursue money, possessions, sex... I don't personally have any problem with these pursuits, but I don't believe in a Christian God, and would never pretend to. But, because of our freedoms, the religion we pursue is a ridiculous bastardization of the one established by Christ.
What's my point? We don't whole heartedly believe in our religion. These people do. Would you be willing to give your life for your god? I say most of us won't. But Christ himself says that this is the way to heaven. (I don't have the exact scripture memorized, or sitting in front of me. It's there, in either Matthew or Mark.) Anyway, we don't understand the tenacity with which these people pursue their god, their heaven. To them, this life is merely a stopping point on their way to god. And they are ready to give everything for their god. This is not something we can understand. (However, to say that Islamic people "love death and loath life", is rhetorical nonsense and fearmongering.)
I think that by pushing these people this way we are opening a can of cobras that could bite us right in the ass... The only way to eliminate the problem is to engage in the extermination of an entire faith. These people aren't going to be swayed to our way of thinking. They aren't going to convert to Christianity. They can't be bullied into changing their beliefs... The only way to get rid of the "problem" is to get rid of the believers. In which case, the Americans would effectively become the Nazis... I'm not saying this is going to happen. And I'm DEFINITELY not saying that this is right. I'm just saying that as this conflict escalates, that is the direction that we will have to take. The harder we push, the tighter Islamics will cling to their beliefs, and IMO the more extreme they will become. Imagine a billion ticks burrowing in deeper and deeper. And the more we pick at them, the more enraged and inflamed they become... And, more dangerous/scary is that the more we pick, the more they reproduce.
Please don't misunderstand... I'm not trying to glorify radical Islam for their firm beliefs and willingness to give everything for them. Although, I certainly wish that I believed in anything with that sort of conviction. Neither am I trying to vilify the US. I think that any form of radicalism is dangerous and scary. That includes radical Islam, and radical right thinkers here.
In my humble opinion, they're all wrong. They're all dangerous. They're all scary. And, once again, the world is in turmoil because of religion. And worse, it doesn't seem to be getting any better... And, worse than that, this time it's not the crusades, or the inquisition. Instead of swords and spears, this is fought with missiles and warheads. There may well be a stormcloud on the horizon if somebody doesn't come up with a good plan. Is there a solution? Not that I can see. And that scares the hell out of me... Except, I don't believe in hell... But we already knew that...
Tenacious d is a fat redhead who is not very smart and is the chief (only) writer for Noxious Stimulation.
Copyright © 2006, Hairy Beanbag Inc.

Update

I have come back to read this after several hours of uninterrupted sleep... I want to clarify that I am NOT condoning, or accepting the idea that the extermination of an entire faith is an OK thing to do. What I mean is, that as we continue to push these people further and further to the extreme, we eliminate the possibility of a peaceful resolution.
My guess is, to the Muslim true believer, the American way of life is as abhorrent as some of their oppressive ideologies might be to us. There is a real lack of understanding between a group of people to whom religion is everything(Islam), and a group of people who are just sort of religious, as long as it doesn't interfere with our lives(American "Christians"). Oil and water.
My guess is, there is only one resolution to this problem. There will have to be an emergence of another prophet. Someone who will be able to give the word of god directly to us. True divine intervention... Since I don't really believe divinity exists, I don't see a true resolution to this problem unless one side or the other relents. That's about all I am going to say about that for now... I want to see if anyone who reads this can make sense of it...
Tenacious d is still a fat redhead. Copyright © 2006, Hairy Beanbag Inc.

More Stuff I'm Listening To...

2006-03-27T07:15:00.000-08:00

My friend 8 and his boy Jason (AKA Applesauce) have become my main source for new music. These guys are always supplying me with new hip-hop and rap that isn't really in the mainstream, and the stuff they introduce me to is almost always good. I started googling the names of some of the artists they've introduced me to and found this website... Go to the Audio/video link and start clicking. You can watch videos from these artists that aren't carried by major labels. They're making some good music. I haven't checked out everything yet, but I would recommend anything by Aesop Rock and definitely check out Murs: Risky Business. Dig it...

Definitive Jux

Aicha vs. Aicha

2006-03-19T15:34:00.000-08:00

I don't know what to think about this clip. This freaking kid is an unparalleled dork. The sad thing for me is, he's a redhead. It's not like our kind needs any more help freaking out the ladies. Nor do we need any help perpetuating the belief that redheads can't dance. Anyway, this goon wrote and videotaped a song for some chick who will most likely never give him the time of day. Especially after she sees this...
Aicha

Now, I've heard people say that parody is the highest form of flattery. I sincerely doubt that's what these fellas had in mind...
Parody

Public Speaking

2006-03-17T20:06:00.000-08:00

Some folks just don't have a good grasp of the English language. The big difference is, most of them are not in control of nuke-u-ler weapons. God, I can't wait until '08... Click the pic to see a funny video of one of the countries worst public speakers.

Gently

2006-03-05T23:11:00.000-08:00

Now, I realize that very few people read this blog. But, I feel compelled to put a disclaimer on here. This entry is NOT FOR CHILDREN. There are no pictures of real naked ladies or anything like that, it's just not a link that a kid should push... Or anyone who is at work and wants to keep their job.
That said... Jack Black is one of the funniest human beings alive. His album with Kyle Gass as the band Tenacious D (with dave Groel on drums), is absolutely hilarious! This song is one of my favorites on the album. And, as a special treat, the video for the song is made by Spumco, the same folks who brought us Ren and Stimpy! Anyway, enjoy this video:

Not safe for work or for kids!

Blackbelt Jones?

2006-03-05T22:00:00.000-08:00

There's this show on VH1 called Webjunk that has all kinds of silly crap that the good folks at VH1 find on the web. It's a pretty funny show, hosted by comedian Patrice O'neal, who makes it even funnier.

Anyway, this clip is one that I saw on the show, and had to track it down to put on the blog. It's a short clip of a guy who is about to give a lesson in karate. He tries to start it off with a backflip. Things fall apart from there. Watch when the dude tries to get up. He's going to teach you how to use those nunchucks one way or another! Freaking hilarious! Click the pic...

Greatest Redheads of All Time

2006-02-23T05:55:00.000-08:00

My friend Tim inspired me to look up the list of the greatest redheads of all time. He made the contention that such a list did not exist, and in fact (like wookies on Endor), did not make sense. So, I started searching and found such a list. Here are my top five and then a longer list, in no particular order...

1) Chuck Norris- This guy has been kicking people's asses since before I was born. Also, the toughest redhead of all time.
2) George Washington- Father of our country. Picture on our currency. Also, in conjunction with Lincoln gets us a day off of work/school.
3) Judas Iscariot- This fella's actually more infamous than great. But, without his betrayal of Christ we wouldn't have had a couple thousand years of Crusades, the Spanish Inquisition, the Salem Witch Trials, Snake Handlers, Faith Healers, and intolerance in the name of God. The one good thing that came of this was the movie "Leap of Faith".
4) Christopher Columbus- Discovered North America after Leif Ericsson and the natives who lived here... Wait, maybe Ericsson should be on this list instead of Columbus (His father was Eric the Red)...
5) Groundskeeper Willie- Funniest Redhead of all time. Well... Some might argue that Lucille Ball and Carol Burnett are funnier, but I'm going with Willie on this one.

Other Assorted Famous Redheads-
Woody Allen- Funny movie guy
Tori Amos- Sad music chick
Trey Anastasio- High music guy
Beaker- Dr. Bunsen Honeydew's assistant
Danny Bonaduce- Cute kid who went insane
Napolean Bonapart- French asshole
Carrot Top- Was funny 14 years ago... Then he made "Chaiman of the Board", there were no survivors
David Caruso- Worlds Ugliest Redhead
Winston Churchill- English statesman
Calvin Coolidge- A guy who schools get named after
Dwight Eisenhower- A guy roads get named after
Angie Everhart- Super hot naked chick
Art Garfunkel- The other guy on stage with Simon. Also on the Worst Haircuts list, and World's Second Ugliest Redhead
General Custer- Got his ass kicked so bad they teach it in school
Vincent Van Gogh- Cut off his ear for a chick.. Oh, he painted stuff, too
Red Grange- "The Galloping Ghost", one of football's greatest players
Ulysses S. Grant- Schools are named after him, too
Daryl Hall- The good part of Hall and Oates
Andrew Jackson- Also on money
Annie Lennox- Great singer
Ewan McGregor- Movie guy. Obi Wan Kenobi
Van Morrison- Great singer
Willie Nelson- Great stoned singer
Nero- Played the fiddle while Rome burned
Florence Nightingale- Nurse who I had to learn about, and I hate her for it. I refuse to give her a link
Conan O'Brien- Really close to the top 5 greatest redheads
Jessica Rabbit- The first cartoon to inspire naughty thoughts. At least for me
Robert Redford- Brad Pitt's former life
Molly Ringwald- Pretty in Pink
Tom Robbins- My favorite author
Axl Rose- Was great, now sucks
J.K. Rowling- Harry Potter Author
William Shakespeare- Bored me in high school
Eric Stoltz- My favorite redheaded actor
Mark Twain- Wrote books.

For more information go to www.redandproud.com

Spock Sings of Bilbo

2006-02-22T14:05:00.000-08:00

Most people who know me are aware of my love for the Lord of the Rings books and movies. What is less commonly known is my affinity for the Star Trek Series (The original and Next Generation only, I'm not a complete dork...) Today I found something that combines two of my fondest loves...
This is a great, crappy video of Leonard Nimoy singing a song about Bilbo Baggins. This is bananas, man. Folks were doing some crazy drugs in the 60's and 70's. Keep it secret... Keep it safe...
FYI: It might take a second for this video to load once you click the picture or the link. It's worth the wait!

Nintendo Style

2006-02-13T15:27:00.000-08:00

This video made me laugh. Flashback to old school Nintendo games when the Japanese story writers didn't have a grasp on the English language. Funny stuff, man. Go here:
http://allyourbase.planettribes.gamespy.com//video1_view.shtml
Thanks to Christizzle for finding this gem...

It's a Nice Day For a White Wedding

2006-02-10T14:02:00.000-08:00

Fight Club

2006-02-03T21:23:00.000-08:00

A Matter of Preference???

2006-01-28T01:50:00.000-08:00

Alright, there's something that I've wanted to talk about for a while. It's an issue that for some reason, annoys the shit out of me.
I can't stand it when I hear some religious right nut-job make the claim that being gay is a choice. I have thought a lot about this, mostly because hatred of gays is one of my big beefs with religious folks. After much contemplation I have come up with this theory:

To truly believe that homosexuality is a choice, one must be a bi-sexual.

Here's why...

Let me pose a couple hypothetical situations to you:
Hypothetical suituation #1: The Halle Berry Incident.
I'm chillin' out in my living room watching Spongebob Squarepants in my robe. Suddenly, the door flys open and Halle Berry walks in. She is bare assed naked except for some burgundy colored high heels (this is my dream, don't question it!). She walks over to where I'm sitting on the couch and says, "I want you to do me right now, Derek!"
In this situation, I have a choice. Do I have sex with Halle Berry (who is the hottest woman on the planet), or do I remain faithful to my wife? I think my wife could even answer this question for me. She knows that Halle Berry would get three and a half minutes, (maybe even four), of my best effort. Well, probably more like a minute and a half... She's REALLY freaking hot.

Hypothetical situation B: The Brad Pitt Incident
I'm chilling out in my living room watching Spongebob Squarepants in my robe. Suddenly, the door flys open and Brad Pitt walks in. He's bare assed naked except for some Navy colored high heels. He walks over to where I'm sitting on the couch and says, "I want you to do me right now, Derek!"
In this situation I do not have a choice. I can certainly acknowledge that Brad Pitt is a good looking guy. However, as a heterosexual, there are certain physiological responses that are not taking place in this situation that did take place in the Halle Berry situation.

When Halle walked into my living room, certain changes started taking place in my body. Blood vessels dialated, and blood flow to certain areas of my body increased. Certain chemicals were being released from my brain that were letting the rest of my body know that it's time to procreate. Flacidity gave way to rigidity and Halle Berry got an up close and personal experience with the famed sexual prowess of a redhead (it's my blog, and I get to say whatever I want).

When Brad Pitt walked into the room, none of these things happened. I was probably thinking, "This dude had some rad tattoos in the movie Snatch", or "This dude is banging Angelina Jolie who is almost as hot as Halle Berry", or more likely, "What in the fuck is a naked Brad Pitt doing in my living room?" But those physiological responses that are necessary for sex to take place, weren't happening.

This, proves to me that homosexuality can not be a choice. I had no choice in my body's reaction to Halle Berry. Likewise, I had no choice in my lack of response to Brad Pitt. Since I am a heterosexual, there is no choice in this matter for me. I couldn't choose to be gay no matter how hard I tried.

So, if you TRULY believe that homosexuality is a choice then you must be a bisexual. Those physiologic responses that were not taking place in my body, must take place in yours when confronted with a homosexual impulse. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with that, just that people that have those reactions to those impulses, need to accept that they have them, and realize what they are... Gay or bi-sexual.

Now, this doesn't mean that I think everyone who makes the statement that homosexuality is a choice is bi. Most of them are just blindly believing the things that their religious leaders tell them. However, I am fairly certain that Jerry Fallwell is a raging bisexual. He firmly believes that gayness is a choice. So, he must be either 100% homo, or bisexual.
Next time Brad Pitt stops by, I'll send him to Jerry's house.

"His dick was this big!"

Intense, Brilliant, Honest...

2006-01-26T02:30:00.000-08:00

I've been a big fan of this guy for a while. When I was a younger, angrier lad, I saw his spoken word and my life was changed. He is blatant and honest and intense like no one else I have ever seen, heard, or read. Now, I don't listen to his music all the time, but his lyrics are always good (great for working out... If I ever did that), and I have a couple of his books, (one of which he autographed for me when I got to meet him). But his spoken word is what really does it for me. He is a man with a high school education, but a lifetime of learning.
Some of you have heard my rants about how I can't get involved with politics because I believe they are all liars. From Limbaugh to Michael Moore, every one of them lies to propigate their agenda. Henry Rollins is one of the few who I believe. I sincerely doubt this man has any agenda beyond trying to make the world a better "more rockin'" place. For that, I appreciate his work. Check him out...
2.13.61

(Ups to 8. Thanks for reminding me, brah.)

In the Name of Love...

2006-01-21T17:35:00.000-08:00

Relationship Ladder
There's this guy... Apparently, this fella got dumped pretty hard by some lady. I can't think of any other reason to spend so much time deciphering the nuances of male and female relationships. Every single thing this guy says is 100% accurate. I've done some of this research myself. It's just amazing to me that the guy decided to dedicate so much of his time and effort to putting it up on the web. I mean, who would waste that much of their life typing ridiculous facts, figures, graphs, photos, and whatnot for an unknown reader, or perhaps no reader at all???
Hey, wait a second... What the hell am I doing?
Anyway, if you've got some time, this is a fun read. Go check it out...

The relationship ladder at Intellectual Whores. (No, there is no porn on this site... Or whores for that matter.)

PS: The links on todays blog were brought to you by: Tim "Timmynuggets" Kozitza. Big ups, brah.

Stolen From 8-Ball's Blog...

2006-01-18T20:29:00.000-08:00

Which was already stolen from Ed's blog...
Go here!
There's this website that runs a face recognition program on a picture that you upload. It then gives you a breakdown of which celebrities you most look like. It's kind of funny... And actually, the first guy they showed looks sorta' like me.
I cut and pasted myself out of this pic and put my face into the program (frankly, I'm way better looking than Aimee is anyway, so it only helped the pic).

Here are the results:

Stefan Raab (German Actor): 61%

Bob Hope (Funny Dead Guy): 54%

Gene Kelly (Graceful Dead Guy): 52%

Peter Greenaway (Some Foreign Film Director): 50%

Margaret Thatcher (British Chick): 46%

Aslan Maskhadov (Dead Chechen President): 45%

Enrico Fermi (Nobel Prize Winner): 44%

Linus Torvalds (Software Engineer who made Linux): 43%

Bruce Willis (Actor who I am better looking than): 42%

Alec Baldwin(Actor who I am WAY better looking than): 42%

Anyway, go check this thing out. You have to set up a free account, but it's pretty cool and moderately funny. Enjoy...

Oh, in case you were wondering, I am certainly better looking than Willis, or Baldwin... But, Aimee is, in fact, more attractive than I am.

Some Stuff I'm Listening To:

2006-01-17T03:41:00.000-08:00

Here a couple of things I've been listening to lately... 8, you'd better check these mother's out!!!

First,
Matisyahu:
I caught wind of this guy in Playboy about a year ago. Some blurb about a Jewish reggae guy making waves in the music world. For some reason I found this very intriguing. Then, I saw a video of him doing the Song "King Without a Crown" on the Fuse (like Mtv, except they actually play music). Good stuff. A couple of days later, I used a Best Buy gift card to grab this CD up. Some of it is just alright. But there are a couple of songs that I am really digging. Go grab 'em here! Then, go grab the CD, Live at Stubb's.
King Without a Crown
Chop 'em Down

Second,
Jamie Foxx:
I saw Ray. The guy was unbelievable. I remember In Living Color. The guy was hilarious. I saw him on "Inside the Actors Studio", and that goofy dude that does the interviews got him to play piano and sing. I was amazed. He might be the most talented man in show business right now. So, I went out and grabbed up his CD. Honestly, most of it is not my bag. Kind of slow R&B stuff. Well done, mind you. It's just not my thing. If you like R&B, you'll probably love this album. I really like this song, With You, which happens to be the one he played for Inside the Actor's Studio. Anyway, check it out here...
With You (Feat. The Game & Snoop Dogg)

Check these out ASAP. Today is Tuesday, Jan. 17, 2006. The links to the songs are good for 7 days. After that, you're on your own...

A Matter of Preference

2006-01-08T20:35:00.000-08:00

Recently, I was involved in a lighthearted debate over whether or not the Beatles were a good band. Of course they were, says I. But, perhaps not everyone agrees. My friend, who generally has a good taste in music was listening to the White Album to see what all the fuss was about. 8, my friend, doesn't listen to music that lives in the Rock section at your local music store. And has once or twice mentioned a dislike for the guitar. 8, didn't like the White album, at all. And in fact, he said that the Beatles "stink".
How could this be? Given, Revolution 9 is a song that I skip whenever I listen to the White Album. And Piggies may not tickle your eardrum in just the right way. But, Dear Prudence, While My Guitar Gently Weeps, Blackbird, Julia??? These are truly great songs. These are tunes that I can listen to, regularly, and never tire of them.
It set me to wondering... How is it, that I can listen to certain music and feel excited, or happy, or sad, or inspired, and yet, when another brain is processing the sounds, it feels nothing, or even revulsion? I could listen to The Joshua Tree for 24 hours straight and get the chills every time the intro to Where the Streets Have No Name starts. But, I know people who couldn't stand to listen to that album for a second. There must be a logical reason for this. I know it's not that I'm smarter or more cultured than others... I would suspect that they are smarter or more cultured than me... But, I share musical interests with some people who are pretty bright, so that just can't be.
So here's what I came up with... It's the preferences that are established based upon the listeners history with the music, their social background, and their psychological background. I'm going to take a look at these things, but I'll only use myself as an example, since I can't be inside of everyone elses minds... At least as far as you know.
Section One: The History With The Music
So, since we're talking about The Joshua Tree, I'll use that album, and that band U2 as a reference. When I was about 12 or 13 years old, cerca 1988, the music that was big in my area of the world was crappy at best. New Kids on the Block were huge, hair bands were ruling the airways. It was all nonsense to me. I didn't dislike it, but none of it really did anything for me, so music wasn't really that big a deal to me.
Then a friend turned me on to The Joshua Tree. I was moved. I didn't know what the hell the lyrics were about, but it didn't matter. There was an emotion, genuine sentiment, behind the lyrics that eliminated the necessity for understanding. He could have been singing in Greek, and it still would have hit me the way it did. It gave me chills. It still does. Listening to that album now, reminds me of being that young teenager hearing that music for the first time. It reminds me not to forget that excitement, that awe at a new experience. That is why I can hear it a thousand times, and it is NEVER stale. But, perhaps others can listen to it for the first time now, and feel nothing because the sound is not new anymore, and they don't have the history with it... It's a foreign concept to me to not feel that excitement. But, not to them...
SectionTwo: The Listeners Social Background/ Environment
So, I live in a mid-sized town in the midwest. We're a little behind the big cities like LA, or NY. But, we do alright. Tastes in this area are decidedly middle class, because this area is decidedly middle class. We don't have a lot of fancy foods, we don't have a lot of fancy cars, we don't have a lot of fancy clothes, and we don't have a lot of fancy music. Now, of course, the internet has made the world a much smaller place, but we are still in Moline, IL population 43,000 and change. This is the hometown of John Deere, and this is a blue collar area. It took me until my 20's to really discover jazz music, because this area has a lack of high fallutin', fancy pants stuff. I grew up on the Eagle's, Melloncamp, Clapton, the Beatles. As I got older and was discovering my own identity, I clinged to rap like NWA and the Geto Boys. That was the stuff that was available to me. I didn't discover Tribe Called Quest or Digable Planets until my friend, 8, (who doesn't like my music), introduced me to them. So, my musical tastes have been drastically influenced by my social climate. I'm a midwesterner and my background with music is midwestern...
Aside: I am a midwesterner, but here's something that I don't get. How in the FUCK can anyone listen to country music and think that it is anything more that shit on a cd. OK, I'll give you the old guys like Cash, or Willie, or even Merle Haggard. They were good ol' boys singing about good ol' shit. But these fucking pussies that are making country music now... What the hell? There is no excuse for anyone to like that crap... I digress... Sorry about that...
Section C: Psychological Background
This is the area that I find most interesting. I work in an environment where I am surrounded by, pain, dying, and death on a regular basis. This plays a huge role in the music I listen to, the books I read, the TV and movies that I watch. When I am not at work, I don't want to get MORE involved in the drama of life. What I look for is an escape. It's hard for me to get involved in politically charged music. Now, I know, U2 is one of the more political bands of our time. Thing is, I'm not smart enough to understand Bono's lyrics. Also, when he talks about bombings in "Enniskillen", I don't know what that means. Please don't misunderstand. I am not demeaning the message behind his lyrics. I am just being honest. He talks about things of which I have very little knowledge. So, all I really get from it is the emotion behind the message. I can escape into my own feelings about MY interpretation of the message that the artist sends, since I have no real understanding of their intended message.
Another area this falls is into is my listening to Snoop. Snoop Dogg is make-believe, through and through. I sincerely doubt that he has ever "capped" anyone. I doubt his nuts were ever on Luke's tonsils. However, I do not doubt that he has rolled down the street smoking endo, sipping on gin and juice... Beeeatch.
I like Snoop because to me it is mindless. I can listen to it, and shut off my brain. I can always vibe on the bass lines he's got, and he flows lyrically in a way that is pleasant to me. Does that mean I really don't love them ho's? No, I love my ho very much. Do I think all women are bitches?... Not all of them. Heck, not all bitches are women. I've worked with a couple of fella's who were bitches. Point is, it's entertaining to me. It provides a place for my brain to shut off, enjoy the groove, and ignore the message.
That's my point.
I don't do message music. I don't care about the message. The world is real enough for me, I don't need reality slipping into my entertainment. 8 likes to listen to Fela Kuti. I would imagine he feels the message. I don't mind Fela, but he doesn't do a whole lot for me. The music gets a bit repetitive, but with Fela, it's more about the story he's telling. I'm sure his story is exciting and interesting (I think the government of the country he lived in assassinated him or something), but I just don't want drama in my music. Or my movies. Or even most of the books I read... I want escape. I want fantasy... And not just Jenna Jameson fantasy stuff. I mean Star Wars, Lord of the Rings fantasy. Escape from reality for a few minutes. I can listen to Snoop and be rolling in my '64 with him and Dre, drinking Colt '45 (works every time) and smoking a bowl.
And Jazz music is great for escape. I can just sit back and feel the music without the hassle of lyrics. Just feel the flow. I can just listen to the music and escape from life for a few minutes.
This doesn't mean that I don't like my life. I love it. I am a very happy person. It's just that I live my life, and it's not that entertaining. So, when I'm getting into my entertainment, I want to be entertained. Not reminded of the harsh realities of the world we live in.
That's why I can listen to the Beatles and love it. That's why I can love my wife and Snoop's music at the same time. That's why I still think that anyone who listens to Billy Ray Cyrus or whoever is the big country singer right now should be shot.
That's my preference. And that's what makes me, me.
What the hell were we talking about again?

It Has To Be Said...

2006-01-04T22:54:00.000-08:00

When Iowa lost to Michigan, there were some poor calls against Iowa in that game. However, I contended then, as I do now, that a few blown calls don't ruin a game for a team. If Iowa had dominated Michigan like they should have, they'd have won. Plain and simple. The bad calls in that game were in the first half, anyway, and Iowa blew several opportunities to win.

That said, the Outback Bowl was one of the few times when I truly believe that poor officiating influenced the outcome. Since the bad calls all went against Iowa, they were not only playing the Gators, they were playing against the officials. That would have been alright if we were playing Ball St. or Illinois or someone who sucks, but Florida is a good team. They came out with an excellent game plan for Iowa and were beating us up pretty bad in the first quarter.
As we moved toward halftime, though, Iowa had started to work out of few of the kinks. They had a drive stalled by a bad call. Then, a bad helmet to helmet call put Florida in a position to score before the half. I could let the helmet to helmet call slide, because it's not terribly uncommon for a ref to fuck that one up. On the replay, you can plainly see Hodge's facemask skid across the top of Leak's helmet. He started in on the hit with his head down, but you can see him bring his head up, and actually throw his arms out because Leak was sliding and he didn't want to get called for a late hit. Regardless, it was called and Florida got into scoring position and capitalized. (On an aside, I read somewhere that one of the officials had thrown a marker to signify that a reciever had stepped out of bounds. That same reciever caught the touchdown pass on that play. I don't know if this is true, I've not seen the tape. But it wouldn't suprise me).
Then in the second half, Iowa made adjustments. The defense held Florida pretty well, only allowing 7 points in the second half. Then in the forth quarter, Iowa's offense got it going (finally!). And in spite of piss poor officiating (I have heard Florida had 12 men on the field several times in the last quarter), they made a comeback... Now, I've heard the argument that Florida "let" Iowa back into the game by running prevent defense. That makes no sense. PREVENT defense is designed to PREVENT your opponent from scoring. Iowa scored 2 TD's and a field goal in the first 13 minutes of the forth quarter.
Then, the worst officiating I have seen in a while happened. A PERFECTLY executed onsides kick was recovered by Iowa. The only onsides kick I have seen that well done, was done by Northwestern against Iowa earlier this season. Northwestern recovered, and won. That was not the case for Iowa. They were penalized for offsides. Clearly, on review, Greenway was not offsides. Iowa had to try again, but lightning truly does not strike twice. Florida recovered, and won the game.
I'm not trying to take anything away from the Gators. They are a very good team, and will continue to have success with Meyer as their coach. They showed up prepared, and held off my Hawkeyes very well for most of the game.
But, the game should be decided by that players on the field. Poor officiating should never have that much affect on the outcome. I don't know if Iowa would have scored after the onsides. If they did, I don't know if they could have won in OT. That's not the point. The problem is, the Hawks played a good game, and came back like warriors in the 4th quarter. They deserved the opportunity to win it. Florida deserved the opportunity to stop them. The officials should be strung up by there whistles and beaten.
These two teams were pretty evenly matched, but Iowa had to overcome poor officiating as well as a good Florida team. Too much for most teams to overcome...
I have one friend, a Gator fan, who likes to think that Iowa was dominated by Florida. I say that they were beaten in the first half, but Iowa got it together. The second half was a very even game, and Iowa outscored Florida 17-7. The stats for the game were pretty even, you can view them for yourself here. However, it seems that folks from down south have trouble believing that any team north of the Mason/Dixon line could be as good as a Florida team. It's OK, I still love ya' Heiney.
The point is, Iowa played a decent game. Not a great game, but a decent game and made a valiant comeback. Florida had a great game plan that they executed well. The outcome was tarnished by poor officiating. And, I dare say that if the shoe had been on the other foot, the Gator Nation would be in an uproar as well.
I'm not going to talk about it any more... It makes my head hurt. I got it off my chest.

Atheist Agenda

2005-12-29T07:57:00.000-08:00

I don't know for sure that I consider myself to be an atheist... I guess it depends on my mood. I like to consider myself agnostic because that leaves a small window of hope for finding an answer to this mess. But, I do know for a fact that I do not believe in any church, or organized religion, or "holy" text that I have come across thus far. That's OK, there are many left for me to read about and research... Which gives me something to do.
Anyway, I do thoroughly enjoy messing with the screwy ideas that a lot of religious right nuts have. And I certainly appreciate it when some smart ass does something to piss them off.
This group, Atheist Agenda, did just that the other day. These guys set up a booth at the University of Texas, San Antonio where they attend school, and passed out porno for traded in bibles. They called their little booth, Smut for Smut.
You can read an article about it here: Smut for Smut
While I certainly appreciate the stab at the religious right, I don't know if this is the type of tactic that I would use in confronting them... It reduces your argument to their level. (See those nut jobs that stand in front of abortion clinics with pictures of dead babies... {This does not necessarily mean that I am pro-choice, I just don't like that tactic of dealing with the issue of abortion})
It is SOOOO easy to find holes in the ideology that religious folks have that this type of sensationalism isn't really all that necessary. You can look to my old friends Benny Hinn, Pat Robertson, or Jerry Fallwell for ridiculous acts of unchristianity in the name of god. Take a look at people you know who call themselves christian. See how far away they are from the true nature of Christ... (The word Christian itself means to be "Christ like". If you believe in Christ, of course you realize it's impossible to be exactly like him. But your goal is to live as much like him as possible. Most christians miss the mark on this by MILES AND MILES). You can read the bible and find all its flaws and realize that it was, in fact, written by men. You can look to evolution, or more to the point, science for answers to all the questions that you might have about life, the universe, and everything in between. It would seem with all of this material readily available, it would be a piece of cake to debate with a christian without resorting to sensationalist tactics. However, it is hilarious when someone pulls a stunt like this...
So the moral of the story is: Christian people are funny, and it's funny to fuck with them.

Props to Shawn Heinlen for tipping me off to this story. Another research assistant earns his annual bonus!

Exoskeleton

2005-12-17T18:34:00.000-08:00

Move over Sigourney Weaver... Forget the Matrix... There's no computer generated graphics here, Mr. Lucas.

I'm not sure why this is so exciting to me... Maybe it's because deep down inside I'm really a techno geek. But seriously, this thing is awesome!!!
The Japanese have invented this exoskeleton suit that can be worn by people who need gait assistance. The Hybrid Assistive Limb, or HAL, can be worn by folks who need a little extra help with walking or lifting heavy objects and it will sense their brain activity to make things like taking a walk, or going to the store a reality for people who may not have been able to do that. The possibilities are astounding.
Remember in Aliens when Sigourney Weaver gets into that lifter thing on the loading docks and gets into a knock-down-drag-out with the Alien??? Well now, if an alien really does attack, we'll be able to do the same thing. I mean, it's sweet that gramma will be able to lift the milk jug on her own, but I want to wield a big ass gun like that dude in the Matrix. I'm stoked about this.

So next time one of you bitches decides that you want to talk shit about your little red buddy over here, just remember, I could show up at your crib packing a 600 pound gun that fires shells as big as your head. Revenga!!!!!!! Thanks exoskeleton!

Big ups to Noodles for locating this article... You are all unwittingly my research team!

Outside the Lines: Race

2005-12-16T18:26:00.000-08:00

So, I was watching Outside the Lines on ESPN today and they were doing an episode about black quarterbacks and the struggles they face in the NFL. The piece was primarily focused on Donovan McNabb, who has been catching a lot of heat over the past few weeks.

It was a good show that raised a lot of good points. But, I don't really get the primary issue... What difference does the color of the man's skin make? Isn't the only important thing his performance on the field? And why in the hell did that guy from the NAACP call McNabb an Uncle Tom for trying to develop his passing game???
Perhaps my naivete is showing here... But I just don't get why any of this is being brought up. Perhaps I was lucky in having been raised by parents who emphasized the necessity of judging a person based upon their actions and their character and not their skin, or social class. Perhaps this is not a lucky thing. It seems like I've been doing it wrong.

I had no idea that McNabb, or Culpepper, or Vick were any different than Brady, or Manning, or Favre (that's for you, 8). These 6 QB's all have one thing in common... They are all VERY good at their jobs... What difference does their color make...

Now, understand... My eyes are not closed to the fact that there are many in white trash people in America who probably do not like black athletes in a position of leadership like QB. To them it threatens the idea that white folks are somehow inherently better than everyone else.
And there are many non-white people in this country that look up to these "minority" athletes. And rightly so. It's good that there are role models who look like Brady, and McNabb, and Tony Gonzalez, etc... More of our nations youth have some one to identify with that way.

But really, when it comes right down to it, does McNabb's color make him any more or less of a QB? His game, his record, his skills are what TRULY sets him apart from other players in the NFL... Don't they?
Like him or not, he is a very good QB. That he is black shouldn't make him more or less susceptible to criticism.

A very smart man once said that he had:
"...a dream of a land where men will not argue that the color of a man's skin determines the content of his character; a dream of a nation where all our gifts and resources are held not for ourselves alone, but as instruments of service for the rest of humanity; the dream of a country where every man will respect the dignity and worth of the human personality."

If anyone is reading this, I would sure appreciate some insight. Oh yeah... Joey Harrington sucks no matter what color he is...

God Stuff: Sex

2005-12-11T12:35:00.000-08:00

This is fantastic...
I love busting out the religious right on stupid ideas that they have (Bert and Ernie are gay, religion as a science, only teaching abstinence in sex ed, Santa doesn't exist)...
Normally, the church takes their most ridiculous stances on all things sexual. I'll be getting more into that on a post in the future. But for now, I came across this website about Sex in Christ.
It seems this site was created by some religious folks who wanted to clear the air about some things that would traditionally be considered sexual deviancy. The creators of this site are apparently a little more liberal than the leaders of the old school in religiondom.
Go here, and make sure you scroll down to the bottom of the page and check out the links to all the topics they address! Marvelous!!!

Christian Naughtiness

This picture has nothing to do with this post, I just thought it was funny...
Dig it!

Outback Bowl!!!

2005-12-07T00:03:00.000-08:00

By the way... My Hawkeyes are making a trip to Tampa this year for the Outback Bowl on Jan. 2!!! This is a better bowl than I expected. Somehow the Hawks got picked over Michigan for this bowl. I think that may be a testament to the tradition that Kirk Ferentz is creating for the Hawkeyes. To be selected over Michigan, who has the same record, and beat Iowa this season, is truly amazing! Can't wait to see this game with the Gators!!! This should be an excellent matchup!

Go HAWKS!!!!!!

Hasselhoff II

2005-12-06T23:48:00.000-08:00

It was brought to my attention that the picture I posted under the title of Hasselhoff was doctored. Here's the pic I posted there...

Notice the little fella's hands... They're black... And the guys face is white... Something is certainly amiss here... So, I hopped on the old Google and started searching for answers... The results were better than I could have imagined. The rumors were true. This photo is doctored, and the real little fella in the picture is none other than...

That's right!!! Gary Coleman! Good stuff...

Greatest Music Video of All Time!!!

2005-11-29T16:48:00.000-08:00

If you can stomach listening to this song, you'll love the video. I'm not sure what these guys are smoking, but I want some... Also, notice the guy in the background. Chillin' like there's nothing going on... Fantastic... Just click on the sign, sit back, and enjoy...

Mad props to Nurse Gerth for alerting me to this little gem.

My Own Action figure

2005-11-21T23:05:00.000-08:00

They have finally recognized the hard work and dedication that is personified in the Male Nurse. If only he had red hair!
Just click the pic to go check this out!!!

A Letter to Dr. Laura

2005-11-15T12:52:00.000-08:00

This is another great find from my friend Tim Kozitza (pictured above)... He should really get his own Blog...

An open letter to Dr. Laura

J. Kent Ashcraft May 2000
Dear Dr. Laura, Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and I try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can.
When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind him that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate.
I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the specific laws and how to best follow them.
a) When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord (Lev 1:9). The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?
b) I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?
c) I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness (Lev 15:19-24). The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.
d) Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?
e) I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?
f) A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an Abomination (Lev 11:10), it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this?
g) Lev 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?
h) Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev 19:27. How should they die?
i) I know from Lev 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?
j) My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? (Lev 24:10-16) Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)
I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging. Your devoted disciple and adoring fan.

I hope that Dr. Laura actually recieved and read this letter. I doubt she would have gotten the humor in it though...
In defense of Christians everywhere, the Bible verses referenced for this letter are all Old Testament Chapters. Christ said that he had come to rewrite the laws. So, in order to know what god really thinks, you have to reference the New Testament... Apparently he still really hates homos, though. Jerry Fallwell told me.

That's Just Pat!

2005-11-12T04:17:00.000-08:00

That nut-job Pat Robertson is at it again! After such gems as calling for the assassination of Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez and making the statement that femenism encourages women to "kill children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism, and become lesbians {SWEEEEEET!}", God's right hand man has made another brilliant statement for Christians everywhere to hang their hats on.
On his show, 700 Club, Pat Robertson told the citizens of Dover, PA that they may have a natural disaster in their town soon because they voted to keep the brilliant idea of "intelligent design" out of their school rooms, citing such silly constitutional ideas like separation of church and state.
Here is an article with his quotes:

VIRGINIA BEACH, Va. - Religious broadcaster Pat Robertson warned residents of a rural Pennsylvania town Thursday that disaster may strike there because they "voted God out of your city" by ousting school board members who favored teaching intelligent design.
All eight Dover, Pa., school board members up for re-election were defeated Tuesday after trying to introduce "intelligent design" — the belief that the universe is so complex that it must have been created by a higher power — as an alternative to the theory of evolution.
"I'd like to say to the good citizens of Dover: If there is a disaster in your area, don't turn to God. You just rejected him from your city," Robertson said on the Christian Broadcasting Network's "700 Club."
Eight families had sued the district, claiming the policy violates the constitutional separation of church and state. The federal trial concluded days before Tuesday's election, but no ruling has been issued.
Later Thursday, Robertson issued a statement saying he was simply trying to point out that "our spiritual actions have consequences."
"God is tolerant and loving, but we can't keep sticking our finger in his eye forever," Robertson said. "If they have future problems in Dover, I recommend they call on Charles Darwin. Maybe he can help them."

I must say that I do certainly appreciate the smart-assedness required to come up with the line "...call on Charles Darwin." But otherwise, I just think the guy is a dick. Apparently, Patty didn't read the New Testament where God changed gears from the vengeful god who rained fire and shit all over folks who weren't being nice, to the god of forgiveness and love that was personified in Christ. I guess he should read more.
Again, I am not against the idea of teaching "Intelligent Design" in schools. But, as I said before it belongs in a "World Religions" class that would expose kids to many different religions, and it CERTAINLY does not belong in a science class.
Feel free to click the link to the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster for more on the debate over "Intelligent Design".

(Special thanks to Tim Kozitza for alerting me to this little nugget of anti religious right gold.)

Hasselhoff

2005-11-11T08:08:00.000-08:00

Sometimes when I get bored at work I'll hop online and google random stuff. One night I googled Knight Rider and I came across this pic. Notice where the little fella's eyes are looking. Just further proof for my theory that midgets love Hasselhoff.

Bonus Star Wars Footage.

2005-11-05T08:53:00.000-08:00

My friend Ryan sent me this deleted footage from Star Wars. Very good stuff. It's amazing the swordplay that they choreograph for this movie. Enjoy!!!
Jedi Training

Is This Man the Anti-Christ?

2005-11-01T00:44:00.000-08:00

This is televangelist Benny Hinn. This man is the closest thing that I have found to proof of the existence of a god. Not because his ministry has touched my life and made me want to become a Christian. Quite the contrary... I believe that this man is pure evil. Possibly the devil, or at least the Anti-Christ. The existence of such evil deities may be proof of the existence of the good guy god.
You may have seen Benny Hinn on TV. Televangelists are pretty much all despicable human beings. Benny Hinn is the king of them all. His antics go beyond the usual bible banging, gay bashing, money extorting that folks like Pat Robertson, Jerry Fallwell, or Robert Tilton dish out. This guy takes televangelism to a level of theatrics that, were it not so sad, would be hilarious.
Benny Hinn is a "Faith Healer" who travels all over the world "healing" folks from large metropolitan areas all the way down to poor villages in third world countries. He will pray over these people and then "slay them in the spirit" with a wave of his hand. This is when the people are rendered immobile by the holy spirit and collapse to the ground in what looks a bit like a seizure. He will sometimes wipe out a whole section of people with just a wave of his arm. Often, he'll shout "BAM!!!" ala Emeril. (Just FYI: There is no biblical precedent for such an act. The Holy Spirit shows up in the bible as tongues of flame that positioned themselves over christians heads. They were never stricken down.)
He then interviews them and they always talk about how they are healed by the power of God through his messenger, Benny Hinn. He also tells those watching at home that they can receive god's healing by placing their hands on the TV screen and praying with him. Guy's so good, he can perform miracles through coaxial cable. Then, of course, he let's them know that they should send money so he can continue to do god's work. If you've seen the movie "Leap of Faith", you've seen a pretty good representation of Benny Hinn. Steve Martin should have won some kind of award for that... I digress...
Anyway, there are so many stories about what this guy does, that I would have to write a novel. I don't have that kind of time so I'm going to post a couple of my favorite Benny Hinn stories, and then post some links so you can check him out yourself.

This is one of my favorite stories from the "Typical Televangelist Bullshit" category. Benny Hinn told his followers and viewers that god had given him a plan for a "Faith Healing Center". This center was going to be a place where the common christian could come and visit with a real live faith healer. I can only assume this visit would come with a hefty fee. God had shown him a beautiful location where christians with sickness could come and be healed by their favorite healers, who would visit the location and I guess take up temporary residence there to do their "healing". Mr. Hinn told his followers that he needed money to do gods work and open this joint up. So, his faithful followers sent in like $25,000,000 in contributions for this Faith Healing Center. This was quite some time ago, and no such center exists. In fact, they never even started planning construction. Mr. Hinn says that god changed his plans. Because god does that a lot. I'm sure the good folks who provided him millions of dollars didn't receive a refund... Good thing is, they can still lay hands on their TV's for healing.
HBO did an expose' on televangelists a couple of years ago, and one of those focused on was Benny Hinn. Benny was, at that time, claiming that he was responsible for something like 64 "miracle" healings. However when asked for evidence of such healings, his people were not willing to or able to produce any evidence. The folks over at HBO apparently have a research department, though, and were able to track down a few of those who were supposedly healed my Mr. Hinn. None of them had been actually healed. One of them Benny "healed" from terminal cancer (of the lung, I think). He then told the man, in front of an audience of thousands that God told him that he was going to live a long and happy life. Two weeks later the man died of complications related to his cancer.
But, this was not the most disturbing story from the HBO expose'. They followed another family from some poor village in a third world country. Anyway, this family had a son that was going to die from some horrible disease or another and wanted to go see Benny Hinn after they had exhausted all medical resources. In order to get to him, they had to scrape up every penny that they could. This involved hitting up their extended family, who were all very poor, and selling all of their possessions including their home. They used the money to get a ticket to a Benny Hinn ministry somewhere in their country. They used what they had left to make a contribution to Pastor Hinn's church. They got up to the stage and Benny prayed over them, with much enthusiasm. He then told the father, tears streaming down his cheeks while he held his VERY sick son in his arms, that god had acted through him and the child was healed and would live a long life. You can imagine the joy this family felt, believing that they were dealing with a man of god. I can't imagine the misery that they experienced a couple of months later when their son died.
HBO interviewed this family after their son passed. They asked them how they felt about their experience with Benny Hinn. The father was clearly pissed, as you might have guessed. But, his anger was not focused in the direction you might have expected. I am going to paraphrase what he said here, "Benny Hinn is a good man. We are not angry with him. He tried his best to help us. I don't know why god would let our son die. I feel angry with god."
People are going through this every day. This man makes MILLIONS of dollars with promises of healing. Now, all televangelists engage in this type of extortion. But most of them promise eternal life in heaven, or a better life on Earth. But this guy promises miracles! I even found a transcript where he talks about bringing the dead back to life. No kidding, he says that if you put a dead person in front of the TV and touch their hand to the screen, they will be brought back to life. He flies around the world in his own private jet and takes money from the sick and the old and the desperate. This falls under the heading of "There Oughta Be a Law".

Here are some links to sites that have some good Benny Hinn stories and info. Take a look at these, there is some really good stuff here:
Benny Hinn Info
Deception in the Church
False Prophet Alert (This one is great. It even has clips.)
Benny Hinn, Necromancer
A Bunch of Benny Hinn Story Links
Google search for Benny Hinn (Scroll through and see for yourself.)

It is interesting to note that most of these links are posted by christian organizations. Kudos to those who are smart enough to smell a rat amongst their own leaders.

I find Benny Hinn appalling, reprehensible, and downright disgusting. If I were a Christian, I would be horrified that this man was trying to associate himself with me or my god. But on a strictly human level, I am horrified that this man is allowed to get away with what he does. There truly should be a law against this type of activity. Actually, I believe there a law against fraud. Whether you believe in god or not, with very little research you can clearly see that this man has not created one TRUE miracle. In fact, his "ministry" has probably dissuaded sick people from seeking the medical help that they needed. You can blame this on their own stupidity, but taking advantage of the stupid is not acceptable. Especially from a self proclaimed man of god.
The biggest reason that this man is so noxious to me is that I have a family member who watches and believes in this man. She's been putting her hands on the TV screen, as instructed by Hinn, hoping that her many ailments will be healed. I wouldn't be surprised to find out that she has made contributions to his "ministry". It is sickening to me that this man has been able to influence the life of one of my loved ones. Benny Hinn makes me hope that there is a hell for him to rot in.

It Rubs the Lotion On It's Skin

2005-10-18T15:04:00.000-07:00

I had to put this on the blog. This is freaking top quality music/video making. Give this little nugget a viewing. Funny, funny stuff...

It Rubs the Lotion On It's Skin

... Or else it gets the hose again.

The Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster

2005-10-15T19:49:00.000-07:00

This may be old news to some, but I just got this blog so I am posting it now.
Recently there was some debate going on in a Kansas School Board about whether or not "Intelligent Design" (AKA Creationism) should be taught in Kansas public schools as part of the science curriculum. I'm not sure what ever became of the debate, but I do know that one of the funniest thought processes I have ever come across arose from it...
The Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster was created and the followers are requesting that their beliefs also be taught in science classes, as they can provide as much proof of their belief as Intelligent Designists can provide about theirs. Great stuff...
Now, you may find it hard to believe that your Hero, a practicing agnostic leaning toward atheism, thinks that it's just fine to have religious studies taught in schools. I do not believe, however, that these studies belong in a science class. A good place would be in a World Religions class where many different religious beliefs were explored and discussions were encouraged. I personally think that it's a great idea to encourage our children to know as much as possible when making decisions about the way they live their lives and what place they may or may not have in eternity. But what do I know?...
Anyway, enough of my soapbox diatribe... Check out this website. I encourage you to keep reading until the end as the last sentence is the funniest part of the whole thing. It starts a little slow, but gets better...
Enjoy The Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

Football discussion

2005-10-13T19:20:00.000-07:00

So the Hawks are playing a surprising Indi team at home this weekend. A lot of folks are picking Indi to win. That's shite!!!! The Hawks stumbled out of the gate this season as they have for the last few. But they are turning things around. They looked much better against Purdue. Granted, the Boilers are struggling, but we played them at Purdue and won. They looked better beating the Boilers than they did stomping the crap out of the pathetic Illini. I think that game may have been the turning point on their season. I hope anyway.
The rest of the season shapes up pretty nicely for the Hawks. After Indi, we get Michigan at Kinnick. Although traditionally the Wolverines are tough, I think this year we should be able to take them... Especially at home... They will be riding high after beating Penn St. this weekend, which may make them a little tougher to handle.
Then, after a week off we go to Evanston to play Northwestern. This is a game that I have been sweating all season. The Wildcats are not a team that is going to be playing in a January 1st bowl game, but they are MUCH improved over the past couple of years. I wish we were playing them at Kinnick. However, since Iowa will be 6-2 then, this game will be HUGE for them. They'll be rolling and will, by then, be playing for AT LEAST a share of the Big Ten Championship. We should win that game.
After NW, it's Wisky at Camp Randall... I don't know what to think about this game. Again, if Iowa has not lost another game, this will be HUGE for their bid for the Big Ten. But, Wisky should be gunning for the Hawks since we knocked them out of the Rose Bowl last year. Plus, this will be the last game that Barry Alvarez coaches at Camp Randall. Huh... Now that I think about it, I'm more worried about this game. If I'm not mistaken, Iowa has owned Wisky the past few years... Let's hope the same holds true this season.
Speaking of teams that Iowa owns... The last pre-bowl game for the Hawks is Minny at Kinnick. I'm guessing that our D will be kicking arse by then, and will beat Maroney with the goalposts that we stole from the Dome a couple of years back. I think that Floyd of Rosedale will spend at least one more year in Iowa City.
So, my whole point is this. The Hawks have a legit shot at taking at least a share of the Big Ten title for the third time in four years. We just have to count on the rest of the Big Ten to beat up on eachother. Starting in Michigan where the Wolverines will save a little face and take out the upstart Penn St. team. If Michigan loses two in a row at the Big House, Lloyd Carr may get lynched by some VERY disappointed Wolverine fans. That knocks PSU down a notch, and they will probably lose to Michigan State in East Lansing at the end of the season, and MAY lose to Wisconsin at Happy Valley if Stocco pulls his head out of his ass and becomes a decent QB.
Michigan St. loses this week at the Shoe in Columbus. That leaves the one BIG if of the season for Iowa's shot at the title... We need Michigan to beat OSU. They play at the Big House this year, and it's one of college footballs biggest rivalry games. I think that Michigan can win this one. I also think that Northwestern COULD pull of the upset if OSU happens to be overlooking them for the Wolverines... But I would truly be surprised if OSU lost a game at the Shoe to Northwestern... We'll see...
It all starts on Saturday... Go Hawks...

Attempted Blogger

2005-10-04T21:11:00.000-07:00

I have nothing to say, yet I feel strangely compelled to get a blogspot for myself... I must join the Revolution!