1.28.2006

A Matter of Preference???

Alright, there's something that I've wanted to talk about for a while. It's an issue that for some reason, annoys the shit out of me.
I can't stand it when I hear some religious right nut-job make the claim that being gay is a choice. I have thought a lot about this, mostly because hatred of gays is one of my big beefs with religious folks. After much contemplation I have come up with this theory:

To truly believe that homosexuality is a choice, one must be a bi-sexual.

Here's why...

Let me pose a couple hypothetical situations to you:
Hypothetical suituation #1: The Halle Berry Incident.
I'm chillin' out in my living room watching Spongebob Squarepants in my robe. Suddenly, the door flys open and Halle Berry walks in. She is bare assed naked except for some burgundy colored high heels (this is my dream, don't question it!). She walks over to where I'm sitting on the couch and says, "I want you to do me right now, Derek!"
In this situation, I have a choice. Do I have sex with Halle Berry (who is the hottest woman on the planet), or do I remain faithful to my wife? I think my wife could even answer this question for me. She knows that Halle Berry would get three and a half minutes, (maybe even four), of my best effort. Well, probably more like a minute and a half... She's REALLY freaking hot.


Hypothetical situation B: The Brad Pitt Incident
I'm chilling out in my living room watching Spongebob Squarepants in my robe. Suddenly, the door flys open and Brad Pitt walks in. He's bare assed naked except for some Navy colored high heels. He walks over to where I'm sitting on the couch and says, "I want you to do me right now, Derek!"
In this situation I do not have a choice. I can certainly acknowledge that Brad Pitt is a good looking guy. However, as a heterosexual, there are certain physiological responses that are not taking place in this situation that did take place in the Halle Berry situation.

When Halle walked into my living room, certain changes started taking place in my body. Blood vessels dialated, and blood flow to certain areas of my body increased. Certain chemicals were being released from my brain that were letting the rest of my body know that it's time to procreate. Flacidity gave way to rigidity and Halle Berry got an up close and personal experience with the famed sexual prowess of a redhead (it's my blog, and I get to say whatever I want).

When Brad Pitt walked into the room, none of these things happened. I was probably thinking, "This dude had some rad tattoos in the movie Snatch", or "This dude is banging Angelina Jolie who is almost as hot as Halle Berry", or more likely, "What in the fuck is a naked Brad Pitt doing in my living room?" But those physiological responses that are necessary for sex to take place, weren't happening.

This, proves to me that homosexuality can not be a choice. I had no choice in my body's reaction to Halle Berry. Likewise, I had no choice in my lack of response to Brad Pitt. Since I am a heterosexual, there is no choice in this matter for me. I couldn't choose to be gay no matter how hard I tried.

So, if you TRULY believe that homosexuality is a choice then you must be a bisexual. Those physiologic responses that were not taking place in my body, must take place in yours when confronted with a homosexual impulse. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with that, just that people that have those reactions to those impulses, need to accept that they have them, and realize what they are... Gay or bi-sexual.
Now, this doesn't mean that I think everyone who makes the statement that homosexuality is a choice is bi. Most of them are just blindly believing the things that their religious leaders tell them. However, I am fairly certain that Jerry Fallwell is a raging bisexual. He firmly believes that gayness is a choice. So, he must be either 100% homo, or bisexual.
Next time Brad Pitt stops by, I'll send him to Jerry's house.


"His dick was this big!"

1.26.2006

Intense, Brilliant, Honest...

I've been a big fan of this guy for a while. When I was a younger, angrier lad, I saw his spoken word and my life was changed. He is blatant and honest and intense like no one else I have ever seen, heard, or read. Now, I don't listen to his music all the time, but his lyrics are always good (great for working out... If I ever did that), and I have a couple of his books, (one of which he autographed for me when I got to meet him). But his spoken word is what really does it for me. He is a man with a high school education, but a lifetime of learning.
Some of you have heard my rants about how I can't get involved with politics because I believe they are all liars. From Limbaugh to Michael Moore, every one of them lies to propigate their agenda. Henry Rollins is one of the few who I believe. I sincerely doubt this man has any agenda beyond trying to make the world a better "more rockin'" place. For that, I appreciate his work. Check him out...
2.13.61

(Ups to 8. Thanks for reminding me, brah.)

1.21.2006

In the Name of Love...

Relationship Ladder
There's this guy... Apparently, this fella got dumped pretty hard by some lady. I can't think of any other reason to spend so much time deciphering the nuances of male and female relationships. Every single thing this guy says is 100% accurate. I've done some of this research myself. It's just amazing to me that the guy decided to dedicate so much of his time and effort to putting it up on the web. I mean, who would waste that much of their life typing ridiculous facts, figures, graphs, photos, and whatnot for an unknown reader, or perhaps no reader at all???
Hey, wait a second... What the hell am I doing?
Anyway, if you've got some time, this is a fun read. Go check it out...

The relationship ladder at Intellectual Whores. (No, there is no porn on this site... Or whores for that matter.)

PS: The links on todays blog were brought to you by: Tim "Timmynuggets" Kozitza. Big ups, brah.

1.18.2006

Stolen From 8-Ball's Blog...

Which was already stolen from Ed's blog...
Go here!
There's this website that runs a face recognition program on a picture that you upload. It then gives you a breakdown of which celebrities you most look like. It's kind of funny... And actually, the first guy they showed looks sorta' like me.
I cut and pasted myself out of this pic and put my face into the program (frankly, I'm way better looking than Aimee is anyway, so it only helped the pic).

Here are the results:

Stefan Raab (German Actor): 61%

Bob Hope (Funny Dead Guy): 54%

Gene Kelly (Graceful Dead Guy): 52%

Peter Greenaway (Some Foreign Film Director): 50%

Margaret Thatcher (British Chick): 46%

Aslan Maskhadov (Dead Chechen President): 45%

Enrico Fermi (Nobel Prize Winner): 44%

Linus Torvalds (Software Engineer who made Linux): 43%

Bruce Willis (Actor who I am better looking than): 42%

Alec Baldwin(Actor who I am WAY better looking than): 42%

Anyway, go check this thing out. You have to set up a free account, but it's pretty cool and moderately funny. Enjoy...

Oh, in case you were wondering, I am certainly better looking than Willis, or Baldwin... But, Aimee is, in fact, more attractive than I am.

1.17.2006

Some Stuff I'm Listening To:

Here a couple of things I've been listening to lately... 8, you'd better check these mother's out!!!



First,
Matisyahu:
I caught wind of this guy in Playboy about a year ago. Some blurb about a Jewish reggae guy making waves in the music world. For some reason I found this very intriguing. Then, I saw a video of him doing the Song "King Without a Crown" on the Fuse (like Mtv, except they actually play music). Good stuff. A couple of days later, I used a Best Buy gift card to grab this CD up. Some of it is just alright. But there are a couple of songs that I am really digging. Go grab 'em here! Then, go grab the CD, Live at Stubb's.
King Without a Crown
Chop 'em Down

Second,
Jamie Foxx:
I saw Ray. The guy was unbelievable. I remember In Living Color. The guy was hilarious. I saw him on "Inside the Actors Studio", and that goofy dude that does the interviews got him to play piano and sing. I was amazed. He might be the most talented man in show business right now. So, I went out and grabbed up his CD. Honestly, most of it is not my bag. Kind of slow R&B stuff. Well done, mind you. It's just not my thing. If you like R&B, you'll probably love this album. I really like this song, With You, which happens to be the one he played for Inside the Actor's Studio. Anyway, check it out here...
With You (Feat. The Game & Snoop Dogg)

Check these out ASAP. Today is Tuesday, Jan. 17, 2006. The links to the songs are good for 7 days. After that, you're on your own...

1.08.2006

A Matter of Preference

Recently, I was involved in a lighthearted debate over whether or not the Beatles were a good band. Of course they were, says I. But, perhaps not everyone agrees. My friend, who generally has a good taste in music was listening to the White Album to see what all the fuss was about. 8, my friend, doesn't listen to music that lives in the Rock section at your local music store. And has once or twice mentioned a dislike for the guitar. 8, didn't like the White album, at all. And in fact, he said that the Beatles "stink".
How could this be? Given, Revolution 9 is a song that I skip whenever I listen to the White Album. And Piggies may not tickle your eardrum in just the right way. But, Dear Prudence, While My Guitar Gently Weeps, Blackbird, Julia??? These are truly great songs. These are tunes that I can listen to, regularly, and never tire of them.
It set me to wondering... How is it, that I can listen to certain music and feel excited, or happy, or sad, or inspired, and yet, when another brain is processing the sounds, it feels nothing, or even revulsion? I could listen to The Joshua Tree for 24 hours straight and get the chills every time the intro to Where the Streets Have No Name starts. But, I know people who couldn't stand to listen to that album for a second. There must be a logical reason for this. I know it's not that I'm smarter or more cultured than others... I would suspect that they are smarter or more cultured than me... But, I share musical interests with some people who are pretty bright, so that just can't be.
So here's what I came up with... It's the preferences that are established based upon the listeners history with the music, their social background, and their psychological background. I'm going to take a look at these things, but I'll only use myself as an example, since I can't be inside of everyone elses minds... At least as far as you know.
Section One: The History With The Music
So, since we're talking about The Joshua Tree, I'll use that album, and that band U2 as a reference. When I was about 12 or 13 years old, cerca 1988, the music that was big in my area of the world was crappy at best. New Kids on the Block were huge, hair bands were ruling the airways. It was all nonsense to me. I didn't dislike it, but none of it really did anything for me, so music wasn't really that big a deal to me.
Then a friend turned me on to The Joshua Tree. I was moved. I didn't know what the hell the lyrics were about, but it didn't matter. There was an emotion, genuine sentiment, behind the lyrics that eliminated the necessity for understanding. He could have been singing in Greek, and it still would have hit me the way it did. It gave me chills. It still does. Listening to that album now, reminds me of being that young teenager hearing that music for the first time. It reminds me not to forget that excitement, that awe at a new experience. That is why I can hear it a thousand times, and it is NEVER stale. But, perhaps others can listen to it for the first time now, and feel nothing because the sound is not new anymore, and they don't have the history with it... It's a foreign concept to me to not feel that excitement. But, not to them...
SectionTwo: The Listeners Social Background/ Environment
So, I live in a mid-sized town in the midwest. We're a little behind the big cities like LA, or NY. But, we do alright. Tastes in this area are decidedly middle class, because this area is decidedly middle class. We don't have a lot of fancy foods, we don't have a lot of fancy cars, we don't have a lot of fancy clothes, and we don't have a lot of fancy music. Now, of course, the internet has made the world a much smaller place, but we are still in Moline, IL population 43,000 and change. This is the hometown of John Deere, and this is a blue collar area. It took me until my 20's to really discover jazz music, because this area has a lack of high fallutin', fancy pants stuff. I grew up on the Eagle's, Melloncamp, Clapton, the Beatles. As I got older and was discovering my own identity, I clinged to rap like NWA and the Geto Boys. That was the stuff that was available to me. I didn't discover Tribe Called Quest or Digable Planets until my friend, 8, (who doesn't like my music), introduced me to them. So, my musical tastes have been drastically influenced by my social climate. I'm a midwesterner and my background with music is midwestern...
Aside: I am a midwesterner, but here's something that I don't get. How in the FUCK can anyone listen to country music and think that it is anything more that shit on a cd. OK, I'll give you the old guys like Cash, or Willie, or even Merle Haggard. They were good ol' boys singing about good ol' shit. But these fucking pussies that are making country music now... What the hell? There is no excuse for anyone to like that crap... I digress... Sorry about that...
Section C: Psychological Background
This is the area that I find most interesting. I work in an environment where I am surrounded by, pain, dying, and death on a regular basis. This plays a huge role in the music I listen to, the books I read, the TV and movies that I watch. When I am not at work, I don't want to get MORE involved in the drama of life. What I look for is an escape. It's hard for me to get involved in politically charged music. Now, I know, U2 is one of the more political bands of our time. Thing is, I'm not smart enough to understand Bono's lyrics. Also, when he talks about bombings in "Enniskillen", I don't know what that means. Please don't misunderstand. I am not demeaning the message behind his lyrics. I am just being honest. He talks about things of which I have very little knowledge. So, all I really get from it is the emotion behind the message. I can escape into my own feelings about MY interpretation of the message that the artist sends, since I have no real understanding of their intended message.
Another area this falls is into is my listening to Snoop. Snoop Dogg is make-believe, through and through. I sincerely doubt that he has ever "capped" anyone. I doubt his nuts were ever on Luke's tonsils. However, I do not doubt that he has rolled down the street smoking endo, sipping on gin and juice... Beeeatch.
I like Snoop because to me it is mindless. I can listen to it, and shut off my brain. I can always vibe on the bass lines he's got, and he flows lyrically in a way that is pleasant to me. Does that mean I really don't love them ho's? No, I love my ho very much. Do I think all women are bitches?... Not all of them. Heck, not all bitches are women. I've worked with a couple of fella's who were bitches. Point is, it's entertaining to me. It provides a place for my brain to shut off, enjoy the groove, and ignore the message.
That's my point.
I don't do message music. I don't care about the message. The world is real enough for me, I don't need reality slipping into my entertainment. 8 likes to listen to Fela Kuti. I would imagine he feels the message. I don't mind Fela, but he doesn't do a whole lot for me. The music gets a bit repetitive, but with Fela, it's more about the story he's telling. I'm sure his story is exciting and interesting (I think the government of the country he lived in assassinated him or something), but I just don't want drama in my music. Or my movies. Or even most of the books I read... I want escape. I want fantasy... And not just Jenna Jameson fantasy stuff. I mean Star Wars, Lord of the Rings fantasy. Escape from reality for a few minutes. I can listen to Snoop and be rolling in my '64 with him and Dre, drinking Colt '45 (works every time) and smoking a bowl.
And Jazz music is great for escape. I can just sit back and feel the music without the hassle of lyrics. Just feel the flow. I can just listen to the music and escape from life for a few minutes.
This doesn't mean that I don't like my life. I love it. I am a very happy person. It's just that I live my life, and it's not that entertaining. So, when I'm getting into my entertainment, I want to be entertained. Not reminded of the harsh realities of the world we live in.
That's why I can listen to the Beatles and love it. That's why I can love my wife and Snoop's music at the same time. That's why I still think that anyone who listens to Billy Ray Cyrus or whoever is the big country singer right now should be shot.
That's my preference. And that's what makes me, me.
What the hell were we talking about again?

1.04.2006

It Has To Be Said...

When Iowa lost to Michigan, there were some poor calls against Iowa in that game. However, I contended then, as I do now, that a few blown calls don't ruin a game for a team. If Iowa had dominated Michigan like they should have, they'd have won. Plain and simple. The bad calls in that game were in the first half, anyway, and Iowa blew several opportunities to win.

That said, the Outback Bowl was one of the few times when I truly believe that poor officiating influenced the outcome. Since the bad calls all went against Iowa, they were not only playing the Gators, they were playing against the officials. That would have been alright if we were playing Ball St. or Illinois or someone who sucks, but Florida is a good team. They came out with an excellent game plan for Iowa and were beating us up pretty bad in the first quarter.
As we moved toward halftime, though, Iowa had started to work out of few of the kinks. They had a drive stalled by a bad call. Then, a bad helmet to helmet call put Florida in a position to score before the half. I could let the helmet to helmet call slide, because it's not terribly uncommon for a ref to fuck that one up. On the replay, you can plainly see Hodge's facemask skid across the top of Leak's helmet. He started in on the hit with his head down, but you can see him bring his head up, and actually throw his arms out because Leak was sliding and he didn't want to get called for a late hit. Regardless, it was called and Florida got into scoring position and capitalized. (On an aside, I read somewhere that one of the officials had thrown a marker to signify that a reciever had stepped out of bounds. That same reciever caught the touchdown pass on that play. I don't know if this is true, I've not seen the tape. But it wouldn't suprise me).
Then in the second half, Iowa made adjustments. The defense held Florida pretty well, only allowing 7 points in the second half. Then in the forth quarter, Iowa's offense got it going (finally!). And in spite of piss poor officiating (I have heard Florida had 12 men on the field several times in the last quarter), they made a comeback... Now, I've heard the argument that Florida "let" Iowa back into the game by running prevent defense. That makes no sense. PREVENT defense is designed to PREVENT your opponent from scoring. Iowa scored 2 TD's and a field goal in the first 13 minutes of the forth quarter.
Then, the worst officiating I have seen in a while happened. A PERFECTLY executed onsides kick was recovered by Iowa. The only onsides kick I have seen that well done, was done by Northwestern against Iowa earlier this season. Northwestern recovered, and won. That was not the case for Iowa. They were penalized for offsides. Clearly, on review, Greenway was not offsides. Iowa had to try again, but lightning truly does not strike twice. Florida recovered, and won the game.
I'm not trying to take anything away from the Gators. They are a very good team, and will continue to have success with Meyer as their coach. They showed up prepared, and held off my Hawkeyes very well for most of the game.
But, the game should be decided by that players on the field. Poor officiating should never have that much affect on the outcome. I don't know if Iowa would have scored after the onsides. If they did, I don't know if they could have won in OT. That's not the point. The problem is, the Hawks played a good game, and came back like warriors in the 4th quarter. They deserved the opportunity to win it. Florida deserved the opportunity to stop them. The officials should be strung up by there whistles and beaten.
These two teams were pretty evenly matched, but Iowa had to overcome poor officiating as well as a good Florida team. Too much for most teams to overcome...
I have one friend, a Gator fan, who likes to think that Iowa was dominated by Florida. I say that they were beaten in the first half, but Iowa got it together. The second half was a very even game, and Iowa outscored Florida 17-7. The stats for the game were pretty even, you can view them for yourself here. However, it seems that folks from down south have trouble believing that any team north of the Mason/Dixon line could be as good as a Florida team. It's OK, I still love ya' Heiney.
The point is, Iowa played a decent game. Not a great game, but a decent game and made a valiant comeback. Florida had a great game plan that they executed well. The outcome was tarnished by poor officiating. And, I dare say that if the shoe had been on the other foot, the Gator Nation would be in an uproar as well.
I'm not going to talk about it any more... It makes my head hurt. I got it off my chest.