A Matter of Preference???

Alright, there's something that I've wanted to talk about for a while. It's an issue that for some reason, annoys the shit out of me.
I can't stand it when I hear some religious right nut-job make the claim that being gay is a choice. I have thought a lot about this, mostly because hatred of gays is one of my big beefs with religious folks. After much contemplation I have come up with this theory:

To truly believe that homosexuality is a choice, one must be a bi-sexual.

Here's why...

Let me pose a couple hypothetical situations to you:
Hypothetical suituation #1: The Halle Berry Incident.
I'm chillin' out in my living room watching Spongebob Squarepants in my robe. Suddenly, the door flys open and Halle Berry walks in. She is bare assed naked except for some burgundy colored high heels (this is my dream, don't question it!). She walks over to where I'm sitting on the couch and says, "I want you to do me right now, Derek!"
In this situation, I have a choice. Do I have sex with Halle Berry (who is the hottest woman on the planet), or do I remain faithful to my wife? I think my wife could even answer this question for me. She knows that Halle Berry would get three and a half minutes, (maybe even four), of my best effort. Well, probably more like a minute and a half... She's REALLY freaking hot.


Hypothetical situation B: The Brad Pitt Incident
I'm chilling out in my living room watching Spongebob Squarepants in my robe. Suddenly, the door flys open and Brad Pitt walks in. He's bare assed naked except for some Navy colored high heels. He walks over to where I'm sitting on the couch and says, "I want you to do me right now, Derek!"
In this situation I do not have a choice. I can certainly acknowledge that Brad Pitt is a good looking guy. However, as a heterosexual, there are certain physiological responses that are not taking place in this situation that did take place in the Halle Berry situation.

When Halle walked into my living room, certain changes started taking place in my body. Blood vessels dialated, and blood flow to certain areas of my body increased. Certain chemicals were being released from my brain that were letting the rest of my body know that it's time to procreate. Flacidity gave way to rigidity and Halle Berry got an up close and personal experience with the famed sexual prowess of a redhead (it's my blog, and I get to say whatever I want).

When Brad Pitt walked into the room, none of these things happened. I was probably thinking, "This dude had some rad tattoos in the movie Snatch", or "This dude is banging Angelina Jolie who is almost as hot as Halle Berry", or more likely, "What in the fuck is a naked Brad Pitt doing in my living room?" But those physiological responses that are necessary for sex to take place, weren't happening.

This, proves to me that homosexuality can not be a choice. I had no choice in my body's reaction to Halle Berry. Likewise, I had no choice in my lack of response to Brad Pitt. Since I am a heterosexual, there is no choice in this matter for me. I couldn't choose to be gay no matter how hard I tried.

So, if you TRULY believe that homosexuality is a choice then you must be a bisexual. Those physiologic responses that were not taking place in my body, must take place in yours when confronted with a homosexual impulse. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with that, just that people that have those reactions to those impulses, need to accept that they have them, and realize what they are... Gay or bi-sexual.

Now, this doesn't mean that I think everyone who makes the statement that homosexuality is a choice is bi. Most of them are just blindly believing the things that their religious leaders tell them. However, I am fairly certain that Jerry Fallwell is a raging bisexual. He firmly believes that gayness is a choice. So, he must be either 100% homo, or bisexual.
Next time Brad Pitt stops by, I'll send him to Jerry's house.

"His dick was this big!"