2.23.2006

Greatest Redheads of All Time

My friend Tim inspired me to look up the list of the greatest redheads of all time. He made the contention that such a list did not exist, and in fact (like wookies on Endor), did not make sense. So, I started searching and found such a list. Here are my top five and then a longer list, in no particular order...

1) Chuck Norris- This guy has been kicking people's asses since before I was born. Also, the toughest redhead of all time.
2) George Washington- Father of our country. Picture on our currency. Also, in conjunction with Lincoln gets us a day off of work/school.
3) Judas Iscariot- This fella's actually more infamous than great. But, without his betrayal of Christ we wouldn't have had a couple thousand years of Crusades, the Spanish Inquisition, the Salem Witch Trials, Snake Handlers, Faith Healers, and intolerance in the name of God. The one good thing that came of this was the movie "Leap of Faith".
4) Christopher Columbus- Discovered North America after Leif Ericsson and the natives who lived here... Wait, maybe Ericsson should be on this list instead of Columbus (His father was Eric the Red)...
5) Groundskeeper Willie- Funniest Redhead of all time. Well... Some might argue that Lucille Ball and Carol Burnett are funnier, but I'm going with Willie on this one.

Other Assorted Famous Redheads-
Woody Allen- Funny movie guy
Tori Amos- Sad music chick
Trey Anastasio- High music guy
Beaker- Dr. Bunsen Honeydew's assistant
Danny Bonaduce- Cute kid who went insane
Napolean Bonapart- French asshole
Carrot Top- Was funny 14 years ago... Then he made "Chaiman of the Board", there were no survivors
David Caruso- Worlds Ugliest Redhead
Winston Churchill- English statesman
Calvin Coolidge- A guy who schools get named after
Dwight Eisenhower- A guy roads get named after
Angie Everhart- Super hot naked chick
Art Garfunkel- The other guy on stage with Simon. Also on the Worst Haircuts list, and World's Second Ugliest Redhead
General Custer- Got his ass kicked so bad they teach it in school
Vincent Van Gogh- Cut off his ear for a chick.. Oh, he painted stuff, too
Red Grange- "The Galloping Ghost", one of football's greatest players
Ulysses S. Grant- Schools are named after him, too
Daryl Hall- The good part of Hall and Oates
Andrew Jackson- Also on money
Annie Lennox- Great singer
Ewan McGregor- Movie guy. Obi Wan Kenobi
Van Morrison- Great singer
Willie Nelson- Great stoned singer
Nero- Played the fiddle while Rome burned
Florence Nightingale- Nurse who I had to learn about, and I hate her for it. I refuse to give her a link
Conan O'Brien- Really close to the top 5 greatest redheads
Jessica Rabbit- The first cartoon to inspire naughty thoughts. At least for me
Robert Redford- Brad Pitt's former life
Molly Ringwald- Pretty in Pink
Tom Robbins- My favorite author
Axl Rose- Was great, now sucks
J.K. Rowling- Harry Potter Author
William Shakespeare- Bored me in high school
Eric Stoltz- My favorite redheaded actor
Mark Twain- Wrote books.

For more information go to www.redandproud.com

0 Comments:

Post a Comment

<< Home